My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.

12/1/10

Whoa, what happened? The "reads" measurer must be broken! It was 200 like a day ago and now it's almost up to 400! If it's not broken, then congradulate yourself, my dear readers, for you have made me feel immensely better!

I think I'm in a fit of depression. I was sitting in English class, kinda zoned out cuz I'm so exhausted, and I almost start crying. For no reason. And I cried yesterday too. Us I've been feeling like my head is gonna explode for a month, but even more so this week. It might be partly because I've gotten maybe 15 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. I'm so tired :(

Should I go to the doctor? Get medicine? I mean I'm not condidering suicide or anything, but lately my life has just seemed so hopeless, and that doesn't seem like the right way to live. If medicine could make me happier, more confidant, then I should try it right?

I checked on webmd.com and it said I have over five of the symptoms of medical depression. But I'm afraid if I tell someone they will say I'm just being dumb and dramatic.

What should I do?

Oh well, moving on.

I was in gym today and these seniors walked in and went," where's Lashika?" we were in the middle of a game so no one answered and they got all mad and huffed off, I heard them say," fine, thanks for all the help!" well sorry, but I am the nerdiest person in the whole class, does it look like I know who Lashika is? I don't know half the people in that class. It's infested with ghetto girls, sluts, and douchebags. All the terrible people congragate in gym class, which makes an already terrible class even worse.

The girl who sits behind me on the bus is the biggest slut of them all. A quote, straight from her mouth," Eww! That's way too big! There's no way that will fit in my throat!"

I wanted to choke her so bad. Yes, it means what you think it means. I heard the entire conversation. I am so close to telling the bus driver to kick her off the bus, or at least move her seat.

She makes me want to rip her hair out.

How are you all? I'm being selfish, talking so much about my own problems. But whenever I try to get a response from any of you, you don't answer! But that's ok, I wouldn't answer either.

I'm gonna talk about Glee really fast, cuz I get more reads when I do. It was an amazing episode, but I'm so sad that Kurt wasn't happy at what he thought was the perfect school, but also glad that it means he will be returning to his old school. I could see it on his face. And I predict that he is gonna bring Blaine back with him, I hope so. I'm looking forward to hearing them sing baby it's cold outside on the next episode.

Hm. I don't feel better. Well, that's not entirely true. I feel a little better cuz I've thought it all through now. But I still feel sad :(

Isn't depression caused by some sort of chemical that's missing? If so, I definitely need more of it.

I hope you guys feel better than me. Bye.