Time Cannot Resent [Gay Love]

Kiara

* Thud * 

" Ow... my face. " Blaire wanted to say those words but he didn't have the energy to, not after what happened this morning.

" Skeith... What the heck is wrong with him?! It's not like I did anything wrong, or did I? GAAAH!!!! This is so frustrating! " Blaire exploded in his head. It's not like he can say those words out loud especially when he's in the faculty room.

" Blaire. There's someone outside looking for you. " my coworker announced.

" Name? "

" She didn't say. "

" Oh. So it's a girl. "

" Yeah. "

" Alright. Be right there. "

I got up from my desk and began to head towards the door. I really didn't want to get up but what if it was one of my fan girls? I couldn't disappoint them. I just couldn't. I would even pick them over Skeith --- no not Skeith but. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, I really didn't have anything more important than Skeith or my fan girls. Well I do have my job, and there's ... Right. There's Katrhrine. 

* Baaam! * 

The faculty door rattled upon impact, Blaire's fist positioned steadily against it.

Kathrine... why am I suddenly changing so much? I don't... I never want to forget about you. Was it all because of that kid? How can he affect me so much? Am I even ready to move on?

NO! I don't want to. I don't want to forget about her. Anything except her. I'm... I'm not ready... I can't... But if I do... I don't think my heart can hold --- 

* Slide * 

" Ow! " Blaire exclaimed as he felt someone hand chop his forehead.

" Serves you right for leaving me there earlier! "

" Kiara... " Blaire whispered as he looked up.

Kiara, as if reading the mood on my face, said nothing. She just grabbed my arm and led me to the direction of the rooftop. I didn't bother to resist. It's not like I had the energy to anyway. 

A lot really happened today. Now, I'm even having second thoughts about my feelings for Skeith. Ughhh! What am I supposed to do?! I'm not really good at relationships. My first was with Kathrine and Skeith's probably the second one. What should a novice like me do at times like this? 

" Ow! " Kiara reacted as I bumped at her. We had already arrived at the rooftop and I didn't even notice.

" Sorry. "

" It's alright. Figured you were thinking more than that tiny brain of yours could handle. "

I didn't bother to say a word. I just really didn't feel like talking to anyone at that moment.

" Anyways... about Kathrine... I'm here to say something in behalf of her parents--- "

" Don't... No matter what you say, I'm still going to visit her every year. I know her parents are just worried about my future and all and, yes, I know they feel guilty because of the fact that I still wasn't able to move on and settle down but... but Kathrine has nothing to do about that! It's just that I can't find anyone. "

" Look, Blaire, you're not a bad guy and the only reason you can't find anyone is the fact that you haven't taken any relationship you had after Kathrine seriously! I know and Kathrine's parents know that you don't trust in relationships anymore because you're afraid of commiting too much and losing everything in the end. "

Kiara turned her back on me and whispered her words to the wind, " Not all relationships are the same. "

" Kiara... I... I... " God... why am I so tounge tied? Is it because what she is saying is actually true? 

Kiara turned again, this time to face me. She placed both her hands on my shoulders and said, " Look, Blaire. Can't you just forget about her and move on? There are millions --- no billions! --- of girls out there. "

" That... " I whispered.

" Huh? "

" That's what I'm mostly afraid of. "

" What? "

" Me forgetting her. "

Kiara didn't react at what I said. She slowly let go of my shoulders and headed to the edge of the rooftop. She silently gazed at the campus, the campus where Kathrine and Kiara once roamed. She had this distant look on as if she had allowed the wind to carry her consciousness. I gradually started to make my way. With every step, distant memories came flowing back --- memories of Kathrine and I. I clinged on the fence. Somehow, I smelled her scent, Kathrine' scent. Lavenders, yes, I remembered how Kathrine used to love lavenders. She even had this notebook that was scented with lavenders! Of course, everytime we went out on a date, I always bought her lavenders. 

Somehow, remembering all of these memories made me sad.

* Drip * 

I felt something warm rest on my left hand. It was the tear drop my eye released. instantly, after that, my eye leaked non-stop. I buried my face on my hands, which was still clinging on the rooftop fence.

" I thought you never showed your weak side? " Kiara muttered as she saw me crying. I didn't dare say a word. I just let the wind carry my sorrows, my feelings, my worries --- my everything! For once, I needed to take off that heavy armor I've been wearing since that day Kathrine left me. Today's the first time I've experienced crying all out with a friend beside me. Somehow, it feels... the feelings that I have... the ones bottled in my heart, they seem less heavier. Now, I understand why people cry a lot. But I guess crying all day isn't always good. You tend to forget about the important stuff --- living. 

When I finally sobered, I turned to Kiara and said, " You know, I forgot about her once... Twice actually. "

" Really? Why? "

" It was... because of someone. Today was actually the second time. "

" Well... I think you like or maybe even love this person more than her. "

" No. I don't want to. I don't know if I can. "

" Sadness tends to overwhelm people's hearts and it hinders them to keep on living normally. But if you found someone that is able to shadow all the sadness with happiness then I guess that person is worthy. "

" I... I feel like I'm betraying her. "

" You're not betraying anyone, Blaire. Kathrine... She would've wanted you to be happy. "

" But... whenever I'm with this person... I... I forget about her. I'm scared that one day my memories of Kathrine would completely fade away. "

Kiara patted my head and smiled, " Pure, honest memories witnessed by the heart never fade away, Blaire. If by some chance you forget about her, then you never really loved her. "

" I really did love Kathrine. Until now, I still do. "

" Then have faith in your feelings. They're your only assurance. "