This Is Heartache On The Big Screen ~ A 5 Seconds Of Summer Fanfic

Chapter 8 ~ We Get So Disconnected

I think it's safe to say, Sofia and I were moving fast. After such a short amount of time I was maddeningly caught up in her. Skipping band practise, I watch as Luke and Michael argue about me, as Cal sits in the corner of the room with his head between his knees and his black hair, all ruffled from too much running his long fingers through his hair. And I wonder, where am I? I should be there, goofing around, smashing on the drums and crashing the symbols and we should be covering Teenage Dirtbag or writing new songs but no - I'm too busy for that.

I'm lost in a world where Sofia is my only thought. I must wake and think of Sofia, when I fall asleep I will be thinking of Sofia. But as I sit thinking of Sofia with the film playing in the background, I realise that I thought so much of her that I even believe I questioned us, I overthought the whole relationship. I asked myself 'do you love her?' but I remember thinking no. Looking back I know I was pretending, too scared, too cowardly to admit that I was head over heels in love with her, if I had known then what I know now perhaps I would have realised that I could work my problems out but instead I picked Sofia over the band until she broke my heart. Before I always said that she was the one that got away, I guess I just assumed that I was left with a broken heart and her's was whole.

"Hey, Sofia!" calls the tall, tawny haired seventeen year old boy that is myself. His curly hair falling in an unruly fashion across his forehead. His lean figure is clad in a tattered white vest and more ripped skinnys, I guess I haven't changed. He breaks into a run, his long legs taking giant leaps down the deserted corridor. A mass of blonde waves jumps into his arms and they swirl around, lost in each other. People stroll past them but they couldn't care less, they are so disconnected from the rest of civilisation, who stare at the couple in confusion and amusement. It's hard to believe that that gangly boy is me and that bubbly girl is Sofia. It's verging on impossible to believe that two people could be so happy, so publicly overjoyed.

On screen, Sofia breaks away and snatches my hand and drags me down the corridor, our laughter ricocheting against the walls and echoing through the silent halls. Her hand fits perfectly and I feel it's weight it mine, I can feel her smooth skin as it sits in my palm. Her long nails brushing the surface of my skin. I look down to an empty hand, but it felt so real, like she was there sat beside me.

I'm not one for crying but I feel the salty drop slide from the corner of my eye and running down my face until it hits my hand, my hand that should hold her's.

I don't know why I want to hold her hand so much but its all flooding back now, every detail, every little thing is coming back in swarms of uncontrolled memories. The way she smelt, her favourite perfume. Her favourite band, how she used to dance. Everything streaming into my brain but she's not here and I can't understand because she is here in high definition talking to me, laughing with me. I am falling in love all over again and she's not even here in person and yet I love her and nothing I can do is going to change this.

I look at Mikey for comfort, my eyes threatening to break free with more tears. He smiles sadly at me knowing the pain this will cause. He sighs and nods as encouragingly as any friend can when they see another friend in pain.

And of two things I am certain:

The first being, I SCREWED UP.

And the second, I am still as obsessively, uncontrollably and impossibly in love with Sofia and nothing will change this.

A/N:

I know this is short but I have had exams all week and so I've been too busy stressing about them to write and so I know this is disappointing but it will get longer cos guess who's got a WHOLE week of no school? ME! Which means I can update LOADS!!