Will To Live [Jensoo] ~DISCONTINUED~

n

Days passed and I still don't cut myself. It's a record. Because since my parents have been separated, I always cut, everyday.

"Jennie Kim" i raised my hand as a sign of present.

I heard whispers, which I can't consider whisper because it's to loud that I can even hear it, after I raise my hand.

"Look, there's some marks there."
"I think it's from the cuts she had."
"Maybe, but it's so many."
"Obviously, she cut herself for so many times."

The teacher ignored them and just continue calling the names. I just wrote on my notebook.

As the blood keeps on flowing
Flowing from my wrist that's aching
I smiled despite of the pain that I am feeling
And my hands kept on shaking

My body feels numb

I am in the middle of writing the poem when someone knocks on the door. Our teacher walked to the door and opened it.

It's Melanie, the student council president. I just continued on writing a poem because I know it's just about the event they are holding.

"Ms. Kim, Ms. Lopez wants to talk to you." I heard my name that's why I looked at our teacher. She nods when I look at her.

I walked to their side ask Melanie. "Melanie, why do you want to talk to me?" She looke at the teacher telling that it's a confidential matter.

She pulled me outside the room, in the hallway to be exact. "I want to talk to you about your grades, Jennie." She said that made my forehead creased in confusion. "What about my grades?" I asked her.

She took a short sigh before answering, "Your grades ar slowing going down. If this will continue until the next grading, the principal might pulled your half scholarship. They told me to tell you about this. They also told me to ask you your plan regarding this."

"My grades are not that low." I replied to Melanie. "I know, we are just letting you know things so you can avoid worse scenarios."

"I'll try to increase my grade again. Thankyou for the information." I said and get inside our room.

I know it's a bit rude or it's really rude but I don't care. They said I need to get a high grades, that's why I get inside already. To listen and to understand the subject.

—

Multiple drops of blood are on the floor. My wrist are soak with my own blood. Same with the blade I used to cut myself.

Yes, I cut myself again. I can't help it. I want to cut, I need to cut.

Woth the bad news I heard earlier and my mother is currently in the hospital for her therapy. My mother being in the hospital is not really a bad news. But the idea of my mother being unparalized makes my body aches.

She's going to hit me a lot of times again. I will have multiple of scratches and wounds. How ironic that the suicidal lass is scared of having wounds.

My body started to feel numb. I can't feel anything but the pain that was caused by the cut in my wrist.

I continue cutting my wrist. I cut one, two, three, four... I don't know. I lost count. But you can see that my wrist and arm is full of cuts.

I was about to cut once more when my phone rang. I didn't bother to answer it so I continue cutting.

It kept on ringing and it's annoying that's why I decided to answer it.

"Hello, who is this?" I ask because it's not a registered number.

"Jennie Kim. This is me, Jisoo." I immediately wipe the blood from my wrist when I heard her answer.

"Oh, waeyo? Why are you calling?" I asked her but sobs are all I can hear. "Are you crying? What happened?"

"My brother...he hurt me. He hit me with his bat...again." as soon as she said that sobs were all I can hear.

"Why did he hurt you?"

"I forgot to bought his girlfriend a gift for her birthday. I don't even know his girlfriend and I don't feel like going to her party, that's why I didn't bought her a gift. My brother is so fcking childish." she replied.

"Your brother is a total asshole. So, how are you? Gwaenchana?" I asked. "I think, but my legs hurt a little bit." she answered.

I continued wiping my wrist and was about to go to my bathroom when I stepped on the blade I used earlier.

"Ahhhh, fcking blade." I hissed. "Awwww, why did I forgot tothrow you after I finished cutting." I stated.

"You did what? You cut yourself?" I was shocked. I forgot that Jisoo is still on the phone. Should I tell her?

No, I shouldn't. I told her to not cut but here I am cutting myself. I don't think she'll like the idea.

"Ani. I just cut some papers using blade because I don't know where I put scissors." I answered. Feeling confident with my answer.

"Ohhhkay? Why did you have blade in the first place? Do you really cut yourself?"

I froze because of that. I shouldn't use that reason.

She's quite an observant.

But what should I answer?

-end of chapter-
Yey! No classes tomorrow that's why I updated. I'm sorry for the typos. I relly don't do proofreading. Too lazy to do that.

Anyways, thankyou for the votes❤️

I love you guys! And keep shipping Jensoo❤️😂