Alive II Yoonmin

34

Much runs through my mind as do scenes through the screen my eyes try distracting themselves with. With my head in one place, my body tries to keep itself still yet one hand decide motion for itself only. Below that left limb is blond strands that belong to the man who I have spend the past few hours with.

"Do you think he's the killer?"

I shrug, I didn't even know there was a murder. I focus only on what had happened before I found myself laying naked in the bed. It was obvious and considering I was there for all of it, I feel stupid thinking back and acting as if I don't know. I really am dumb.

"Phone."

I look to my device but nothing happens. I open my mouth to ask why Jimin had mentioned it but in the matter of time it takes for me to make a sound, the ringtone reaches my ear. Pressed against my skin I place the phone and answer with a soft greeting.

"Hey, are you coming home soon?"

Hoseok.

"Um, yeah I'll be there soon I just got distracted. Do you need me to get anything."

There's a silence, on both ends. Only now that there is no speaking I notice the absence of the television noise and the humming Jimin had been doing previously. Hoseok says no in the end and hangs up. I get up from bed and announce my departure. Jimin sits on the bed watching as I prepare to leave.

"It would have been nice if you stayed the night you know."

It probably would be but I can't do that and I have a feeling he very well knows that. My mouth stays shut and let his eyes wander about the room as I tighten my belt.

"Are we doing this again?" He asks innocently unlike what we had done.

The question lingers in the air as does the shoe I hold up. Am I really going to do this again? I know it's wrong yet the memory of pleasure coursing my being was telling me otherwise. Eventually I mutter an 'I don't know' which leaves another moment of silence.

"Even if this doesn't repeat itself, we will meet again right Yoon?" He asks softly. "I want to help you."

Without hesitation, I nod. Even if certain actions from today aren't repeated, I do intend to see him again. Jimin is among the only ones helping. Especially now with the new acquired information I need to keep seeing him. Once ready to leave I thank him for everything, the things he told me most of all. My heel turns to leave but he jerks forward and pulls back my hand. My eyes meet his, sad ones.

"Jimin, I have to go."

He nods. "I know but I don't want you to."

"Jimin."

"Can..." He sighs. "Can you just kiss me before you do?

I know I should leave, that I should just tell him no and go because I've already done enough wrong with him but I don't. I don't say yes because I necessary want to but because I can't say no. Seeing him all upset and desperate for my touch softens me inside. I sit down near his covered thigh.

"Just one and then I really have to go."

His head is quick to nod before his hand falls on my cheek and his lips are on mine. It was quick as agreed but not as simple as expected. His actions are desperate but not in a lustful way but as in one that was unsure when the action will once again be repeated. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against mine and mutters the three words anyone would be honored to hear directed to them by Jimin.

"Me too." I say and kiss him on last time. My hand lingers with his just a second before I pull it away. We share one last look before our final farewell. I don't want to leave him, not when he looks at me like I'm never coming back. Despite my desires I have things to attend to, a life I cannot escape to live a second as I use to with him back in the days.

I take a cab to drive me back home at the late hours of the night. As I sit watching the lights of the outside, I think of what I felt when I was in Jimin's presence. With him things are different, I feel understood like no one else does. As our limbs tangled in bed I felt more than just lust for him, I still feel the connection. What we had done was not just an act of pure pleasure, there was more to it and that baffles me. However, I am home now and there are something just a bit more important I need to come to understand.

My entrance to my home is not discreet nor do I intend for it to be. Feelings of confusion are replaced by those of irratation and slight anger as I lay eyes on who they are for.

Hoseok sits at counter with phone in hand, he tells me to save my excuse.

"Well-"

"I told you to save it." He snaps back. "I think you forget that your phone has a tracker that just so happens to be connected to my phone. And to think I'd only find it useful for if you got lost. You really haven't changed Yoongi."

He rises from the seat, tears already spilling down his cheeks. Hoseok makes no attempt to wipe them as he walks towards me, more specifically the stairs leading to our bedroom. If he intends to walk up without a struggle he is very wrong. I make it clear with the pull of his arm that we're not done talking, if anything far from it.

"We're going to have a talk you and I." I say as I drag him to the dining table.

He struggles to pull away. "I don't want to talk to you! Let go Yoongi!"

"But I want to talk to you so that's what going to happen, sit."

I pull the chair from under the table and force him down with a strong push of my hand on his shoulder. He looks up with rage and tear filled eyes, clearly not the slightest bit happy with me but that's alright because I am not here to make him happy. Now, I want answers, more specifically the ones he's been hiding from me.

~'~'~'

Sorry for taking so long to update guys.

Hope you enjoyed!

{Ciel1l}