Letting Go (NamJin)

Epilogue: Snow Drop

3 Years Later

"Uncle 'Joon! Uncle 'Joon!" The high pitched voice of a child echoed through the cemetery, followed by cheerful laughter, which sounded like a million chiming bells.

I turned from where I sat on a stone, my hands tucked into the pockets of my winter coat. My breath was visible as I chuckled, watching as three year old Jin-Yeong ran towards me, waddling as she managed her way through the uneven snow that covered the ground. I had been babysitting the toddler often, since Jungkook and his wife were often busy helping Taehyung in the two new shops he opened. Jin-Yeong looked like a fluffy penguin in her coat and beanie, her mitten-covered hands held out in front of her.

"What is it, Yeongie?" I kneeled down so I was at her level, a smile spreading across my lips as she extended her hands towards me, showing me what was inside. Her eyes were bright and sparkling with excitement.

"I got a flower for uncle Seokjin!" Jin-Yeong laughed delightfully, and I couldn't help but gasp in surprise. A flower...growing in this cold weather? I looked down into her hands and sure enough, there were two pure white Snow Drops, small ice particles causing them to glitter in the sun like crystals.  This particular flower symbolized purity, rebirth, and hope. All of which were very fitting.

"Wow, they're pretty. Wanna go give them to Uncle?" I patted Jin-Yeong's head and then held out my gloved hand.

"Yeah! Let's go." Jin-Yeong gently shifted her flowers to one hand and grasped my hand tightly. I squeezed her hand and slowly led the way to where a large, barren tree stood, the brown bark lightly dusted with snow. Jin-yeong released my hand and waddled ahead of me to a light-grey memorial stone, crouching down as she lightly placing her flowers at the base of it. When I finally reached her, I could hear her light voice singing.
"Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" She clapped her mittened hands together along to the rhythm, "Happy Birthday, Uncle Seokjinniiiee, happy birthday to you!"

I smiled sadly as I kneeled down next to her, running my hand along the stone to clear away the snow and ice until the words engraved were visible. 
Kim Seokjin. Beloved brother, friend and husband.

I let my hand linger on the last word, my heart feeling full, and yet empty at the same time...

"That's right..." I said softly, my eyes filling with tears. "Happy Birthday, my love." December 4th. That was today. This day was always painful.Seokjin's smile, his silly laugh, his honey brown eyes... memories of him came rushing back, making my heart ache. I could feel my lower lip trembling as I fought the urge to cry.  I didn't want to, though. Not in front of Jin-Yeong..

I'd always celebrated his birthday with Jin-Yeong. She was usually always in my arms when we'd visited in the past, but this year, she was able to walk and insisted on visiting uncle Seokjin on her own. Having her around was comforting, I would be forever grateful that Jungkook allowed me to spend so much time with her.

"Don't  cry, Uncle 'Joon." A pink mitten reached up to touch my cheek, I hadn't realized I'd started crying, the salty tears running down my cheeks. I laid my hand over Jin-Yeong's hand that rested on my cheek, holding it there for a moment before letting it go.

"You're right. I won't cry. Wait here for me." I gave her a small smile and stood, walking over to where I had set our things earlier. I returned quickly, carrying  the white square box in my hands. I kneeled back down, gently opening the box and pulling out the circular cake, setting it a top the box.
The red sugar roses on it contrasted nicely with the white icing and red lettering, which read "Happy Birthday, Seokjin." I placed some candles on the cake and removed my glove to light them with a match. I looked over at Jin-Yeong.

"Ready to sing to Uncle Seokjin again?" I smiled as I placed the box in front of the engraved stone, the candles flickering lightly.

"Mhm!" Jin-Yeong drew in a deep breath before she began to sing and clap again. I joined her, clapping in unison. "Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy Birthday, Uncle Seokjinniiiee, happy birthday to you!"

As if on cue, a gentle breeze embraced us, sending the snow in the trees flickering down. The sun made the little flakes glisten, like crystals in the air. That wasn't the only thing the breeze did, it had also blown out the candles.

Jin-Yeong's sweet, bell-like laughter filled the air. I looked up into the sky, smiling as I  watched snowflakes begin to rain down gracefully. Thank you, Seokjin...I know you're watching us from up above...I love you. 

I cut out a slice of cake, the one with the most roses, and placed it onto a napkin before setting it next to the snow drops Jin-Yeong had placed. Jin-Yeong yawned next to me as I packed up the rest of the cake, which I would deliver to the flower shop to share with the guys, as I did every year. Standing up, I tucked it under my arm.

"Come on, let's go visit uncle Taehyung." Jin-Yeong nodded and gave a tired smile before yawning again. Without hesitation, I picked up the sleepy toddler, who immediately nestled her head against my neck. I gave one last glance to Seokjin's resting place before turning to walk out of the cemetery gates.

One arm held the cake, and the other a sleeping toddler. And my heart, well, it held Seokjin, as it would until the end of time.

The End