Protecting You

Chapter 5

**(vision)

"Please! I want to go home now!" I scream at the whiteness, balling my hands into fists.

My words bounce and echo back at me. I can hear the fear and desperation in my tone. I'm going to die. The only way to stop that is to find out ways to prove Loki is a good person.

"Now, child. Shouting and anger is not the answer." My mother points out, her voice inside my head.

"Then give me the answer." I spit.

"I'm going to show you something that is very significant. This will be emotional and this is part of me. So watch carefully. Remember, don't touch anyone."

Suddenly, there's a white flash and I'm stood in a wooden doorway. Grumbling under my breath, I step into the room. It's a pure white bathroom, with a white claw foot bath and a giant shower in the corner. Next to the toilet is a large sink built into a counter. Above that is a huge mirror and a cabinet filled with medicine. Sat in the corner of the bathroom is a woman, her black hair flowing in ringlets down her shoulders. Her face is pale but showered with freckles, she leans her back against the wall and pulls her golden dress over her legs. I smile as I recognise the woman as Iowa, my mother.

Beside her in a pile is plastic tubs of medicine and boxes of tablets.

"After 14 years of you being lost, the depression took over her and she overdosed herself." Axel's words remind me.

Kneeling on the white and black bathroom tiles, I watch my mother look at the pills. Her eyes filled with tears and burning with pain.

"Don't do it. Please don't do it." I whisper.

Yanking off the top of one of the bottles, with shaking hands she tips them into the palm of her hand. Tears begin to stream down her cheeks as she stares at them, questioning.

"Please stop." I beg.

I go to touch her, but I jump back in shock as I feel an electric shock run along my fingers and into my veins. Gasping, I sit back and watch. She throws them into her mouth and gulps, the tablets travel down her throat. There's a minute of nothing, then her eyes flicker closed and I notice her breathing stop.

Drawing my knees up, I wrap my arms around my knees and lean my chin on my arms. After a few minutes, footsteps get loud and closer. Noticing the boots, Loki stands in the doorway of the bathroom. He takes a second to process what has happened. Then he kneels by her side and places two fingers on her neck. Bowing his head, he clasps her hand and sits beside her. Pulling her head gently to rest on his shoulder, he kisses the side of her head and smiles. Slowly, he raises his head, tears stream quickly down his cheeks and his eyes meet mine. Lifting my head, I narrow my eyes. Then I remember he can't see me.

"I'm sorry my darling. I promised I'd look after you and I havent. I am so sorry. I should have been with you all the time and protected you. Forgive me." He whispers, his eyes fixed towards me.

There's another flash, but I stay still. I'm transported to the same room. I'm still sat in the bathroom. But, my mother and father aren't there.

Loki walks in, running his hand over his exhausted face and rubbing his bloodshot eyes. He looks out of place in jogging bottoms and a simple grey t-shirt. Stumbling into the bathroom, he grips the sink so tight his knuckles turn white. Opening the cabinet, he searches for something but stops abruptly. Loki picks up a razor and glares at it with his eyes. Then he glances at the corner by the door, where mother died.

"No. Please dont. Loki dont." I argue.

Slowly standing up, I watch him sit down with the razor still in his hand. He continues to stare at the razor for an agonising minute. Then, he places the razor on the inside of his wrist, the metal brushing the veins that stand proud on his skin.