Not Always Glamorous

Chapter 29: I Have A Deep Conversation With Ms.Castillo

Chapter 29: I Have A Deep Conversation With Ms.Castillo

     I swipe my card key into my hotel room and hold the door for Harry, Taylor, and Ms. Castillo. I kick off my heels and drop them off by my bed. I then walk up to Taylor and ask her if I could sleep in Ms. Castillo's room tonight. "Of course...I saw you guys crying on stage, I saw you crying while you were dancing with Harry...I hope you are okay." she tells me. I hug her and realize how little time I'd been with Harry or Taylor. It was like I didn't care anymore about them, but I hoped they didn't think that, because I cared about them so much! They were my family.

    "I'm sorry I haven't hung out with you all that much...it is just that, you know, she is the best, most understanding teacher I had ever had. When I left for high school...when I found her again, I wanted to cry. I missed her and, when I was in middle school, I thought not seeing her on the weekends was torture. But when I didn't see her for, like, eight years, it was torture. Please don't be ma at me, I'm super sorry, but I just missed her so much." I tell her and she sheds a tear.

    "I know how important she is to you. It's okay!" she tells me, hugging me again. "So...it is okay I stay in her room tonight?" I ask her. "Of course! I was going to ask Perrie to sleep her anyway..." she tells me guiltily. I just scoff and walk to the closet. I pull out one of my empty bags. I stuff inside a brush, a book, earbuds, some twizzlers, and my phone. I walk to Ms. Castillo, smile, and she leads me to her room. When we get there, I stare at the room number.Twenty One...twenty one... I think to myself. I can make a pretty great song with that!

    She slides her card key in the slot, and holds the door open for me. "Thanks!" I tell her, trying to smile, but at this point, it was fake. What I was about to tell her,I didn't want to hurt her feelings...but I HAVE to tell her. I just HAVE to. I go to the bathroom closet and open the door. I look at the three boxes of tissues. There was one with roses, one decorated with drab stripes, and one with fantacal butterflies flying in a field of daffodils. I grabbed the one with the butterflies because that is what Ms. Castillo was like.

     She has a lot of creativity and imagination, but she is also special in the way that she can go from person to person and make them feel special...like they are really close to her and that her and the person have a special and close relationship, even if they just met. It is an extraordinairy combination...extrodinairy, but anything but extra-ordinairy! I sit on the bed,which Ms. Castillo has already sat down on.

     We stare at each other. "Listen..." I start. She nods and gives me a concerned face. "I don't want to hurt you, I want you to keep dating Ryan, it's just..." I trail off. She scoots over to me. She gently places me head on her shoulder and rocks back and forth. I start to quietly cry. "Listen to me...you may be an adult, twenty one years old, you may not be my student, I may not be your teacher anymore, we may not be related. But you can tell me anything, I will always be there for you, and I will always be there to make you feel better, no matter what. Okay?" she tells me.

     I pull out of her embrace. I nod before breaking down. She hands me he tissue box and hugs me. She waits for me to calm down a little bit and then pulls me away. "What's wrong?" she asks, at last. "It just...it feels wrong tohave you in love with someone...and I am probably going to sound like the most selfish person in the world and you are probably gonna hate me..." I said, wiping theblack mess on my face away. "Hey, listen! Don't say that! You aren't and I am gonna love you no matter what, okay? I will never hate you!" she says huging me.

     I nod. "Thank you...but I am selfish. Please,I am begging you, stick to your promise that you will always love me, because I don't think I can bear you, one of the most important people in my life hate me..." I tell her. "Oh, would you stop? I am never going to hate you! But you need to tell me what you need to tell me." I nod and wipe my face one last time. "I...I don't want you to love anybody. I just...I don't know why! I want you to be happy, but...I'm selfish and I want you all to myself. I am so sorry! You probably feel bad and want to go break up with Ryan, but please, I'm begging you not to!" I blurt out and start sobbing.

     Ms. Castillo starts to cry. She holds me and rocks back and forth again, like this heart breaking conversation started. "I'm sorry...this really is all my fault." I say quietly. She looks up, lets go of me, and grabs a tissue. "No, no, no! It isn'tyour fault! I am not crying because I feel bad about being with Ryan...I..." but she stops. "I'm crying because...because, well, I know how it feels. I was in your place once, you know. One of my closest friends, my sister by heart, she was..." she said before she choked up and started sobbing into a tissue. 

    Seeing her this muchin pain, I just can't. I lean over and hug her. I just hug her, both of us crying. "I'm sorry." we both say. We were up crying and talking until four in the morning. We had it all figured out. We were going to spend a bunch of girl time and double dates...or, um, hextuple (haha, thats a funny word!) dates (Niall & Taylor, Liam and his new girlfriend, Ms. Castillo and Ryan, Perrie and Zayn, Louis and Eleanor, and Harry and I). 

     She changed into yellow pajama pants and a wrinkled...Jade Leon shirt! "Hey, how long have you had that shirt? It looks kind of...old and a little short on how big lengthwise..." I ask. "When you were 18 and your first single came out, I was one of the first people to buy your first shirt. I still wear it now! Except, you know, as a pajama shirt..." she told me. "That is so sweet!" I tell her and give her a side hug and jump back in bed. 

     I still had a little black running down my face and Ms. Castillo's eyeliner was a little messed up. I whip out my phone. I pull up Instagram and click the photo button. We look at the camera and give our best creepy-straight faces. I click the button and we just stare at the photo. We laugh. "Definitely!" she giggles. And, you know, people who get each other know what each other mean...and I did know what she meant. I click in the caption box. Do we scare you? Lol, who am I kidding? Of course we do! #wescary #besties #wontletyougoagain #awesome #besties #scaryface #creepy #lol #unless It read.

    I press "post" and, five seconds later, Ms. Castillo's phone plays none other than "Love Is Blind" a.k.a. MY SONG! She looks at me, smiles, then shows me her phone. It's the photo. She is awesome...my number one fan...and I am hers.