My Broken Thoughts

13/11/15

Moving again,
Yet standing still,
Going forward,
Yet looking back,
Feeling so loved,
Yet knowing it'll never be anything more.
------------
I always get my hopes up,
I always get to clingy,
I always get attached,
Well that's a lie,
I always get attached,
To people I can't have,
I'm picky with the guys I like,
With the guys I let see the real me,
And it just so happens to be,
That whoever I let in,
Whoever I let close,
I just can't have,
I always get my hopes up,
I always tend to dream,
I always want the people,
I can not have.
----------
Thoughts scattered,
Sleepless nights,
Haunting nightmares,
Nights spent in tears,
Mind hates me
--------
My thoughts are scattered,
My heart is shattered,
The pain is becoming unbearable,
I pick up the lighter,
I take a deep a breath,
Smoke filling my lungs,
Pretty please,
Oh Mary Jane,
Take way my pain,
Please I beg of you
------------
"You're evil" she whispered taking a step forward,
"That doesn't scare you?" He asked his voice barely heard above the beating of her racing heart.
"You would never hurt me so... No I'm not" leaning forward she placed her head again his chest. She was happy. Evil or not she was in love.
-----------------
She smiles and I catch my breath,
It's so beautiful and so rare,
As she laughs her head tilts back,
And her eyes sparkle like the stars on a moonless night,
But then it's gone,
Her eyes go dim,
And the laughter stops,
She is still smiling,
But,
You can tell its forced,
Her demons are winning,
And it's sad to see,
She is beautiful but destructive,
Kind of like a hurricane as you know you are going to die.
-----------
13/11/15