My Broken Thoughts

19/11/15 Part 2

She seems so cool,
So focused, so
Quiet, yet her eyes
Remain fixed upon the horizon
You think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her but everything you think you know is wrong. Passion flows through her like a river of blood she only looked away for a moment and the mask slipped and you fell all your tomorrows start here.
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She dreams of darkness,
She dreams of death,
Her demons run wild,
Inside her head,
You couldn't tell,
Any of this though,
Just by looking at her,
On the outside she's happy,
Smiling laughing living life,
But when no ones around
The masks slips
And the tears fall
How do I know this
You ask
Because she is me
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You don't see how I am
When no one is around
So torn apart there are pieces of me
Scattered around my room
I quietly put myself back together
And try to secure the damage
But every time i am alone
Another part breaks off
And I am left
To fix myself
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I sit here with
A stupid grin on my face
You reach out to me
Not only when awake
You're asleep yet still
You place your hand on my knee
Or reach out for my hand

While awake affection comes
Only when alone
And only in small doses

While asleep affection comes
Constantly and naturally
So many time I have
Gotten weird looks off him
Because you place your hand
On my leg while asleep

I love the affection
Just as I love your smile
If only I could stay for awhile,
I'm going to miss this,
I'm going to miss us,
I'm going to miss you
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19/11/15