A Beautiful Piece Of Broken Pottery

Chapter 10:

Graveyards. Filled with bodies of people who once roamed the streets. A rest place. Where people who once suffer go to sleep. If people find such pleasure from sleeping isn't death an eternal sleep so why are people so afraid to die? Why are we so afraid to visit graveyards? Do we realize that although we long to talk to the person resting, we're simply talking to a decomposing corpse?

Graveyards to me are the prettiest places. For I know that on earth people suffer. In a graveyard the atmosphere is still, quiet and peaceful. People are asleep with their souls in heaven. Graveyards are so beautiful for the flowers that lay there represent the sports that linger. Flowers are pure. Reality is that dead people get more flowers than people who are alive because guilt is bigger than gratitude. Lucas had asked me to come with him somewhere and he was going to explain everything to me. I had known that his dad had passed away but I had not know how he had passed away and I was intrigued to find out how. Lucas had me meet him at his house and from there we got into his car and began to drive to our destination.

"Where are we going?" I asked. "You'll see " he replied whilst his eyes were glued to the road. "You wanted to know why I did what I did to you, well I am going to show you something and then I will tell you everything. I promise you know that you are going to see a side of my life that I had kept hidden , you are going to see why I became who I am today. And I promise you , you will run away" he said rather firmly. I wanted to know what was so bad that it would make me run away. I have been to the depths of hell and I have crawled out alive. Nothing is going to make me run away.
We had arrived to our destination and it was none other than a graveyard. "We have come here today to see my dad, you know that my dad died but you and no one else but my family knows how. I'm going to tell you how today" as he was talking we walked up to his dads grave that had a neat brick wall built around it , with a tombstone that said lover of work and successful business man. Nothing was mentioned about a loving father or husband.

We sat down at the edge of the grave and began to speak. "My dad had always had a dream to become a successful business man because that is what he wanted to be remembered has. He never wanted to be the average loving husband and family man ,he wanted to make a name for himself and he had done this. Because of his busy schedules he couldn't always be there for his family and at the time of his death I was 6 , I had just joined a football camp and I had a game that weekend and I made sure that I made him be there. That day he was on his way to my game when he was robbed and killed at knife point. I was so upset when he did not show up I did not realize that at that moment  he was dying. My selfishness and pestering caused my father to die. Later on I discovered that my fathers murdered hit closer to my mum than she gave off. Turns out that my mum was a drug dealer and this guy was her newest buyer." He had said and I could see that as he was talking he was replaying this memories.

Then he suddenly got up, held his hand out for me to help me up and we walked a little more to another grave and then it hit me. We were standing at his mums grave. Tears were now fully streaming both down mine and Lucas's faces. He began to speak once more. "My mother abused me physically and emotionally after my dad died, she blamed me for the death of my dad in order to cope with the fact that she was indeed the cause of his death, she brought me down everyday, told me the most harsh words and I never went a day without a slap. Then one day we got into a huge argument , she blamed me once more for my father when bills came in and she did not have the money to pay them since she now spent every pay check on short dresses so that she looked appealing enough to sell her drugs. The bills came and soon we lost our house. We moved in with my grandparents and the stress became to much for her and myself that we got into once again another argument. This was our last. She hit me and hit me and hit me until I bled. I stood up and I told her something I shouldn't have I wish you died instead I said. And she took it to heart, she went into the bathroom and slit her neck open and bled to death on the bathroom floor."

By the time he had finished I was holding him and we were both sobbing our eyes out. "She caused my personality disorder " he said once more. "I never wanted her dead, I could've helped her" he bagan screeching in pain and I knew he was reliving his memories. He pulled back from me and asked me if we would go out for milkshakes so that he could explain the lat piece of the puzzle that he called life. We went to coco bean the coffee shop that he works in and he we both ordered ice coffee milkshakes.

He sipped and sighed and then began to talk. "I was getting really bad chemistry grades and was about to be kicked out of the arts program so I had to get the help from Phoebe. She had a price for me to pay in order to get her help and I was stupid enough to go with whatever she said. She hates me for she is the daughter of my father's murderer and believes that we ruined her family when we sent her father to prison. She hates me so much that she would do anything to get back at me and she saw you as the perfect target. When you walked in and see me with her it was all part of the plan. Everything that I said to you Gemma was staged, she wrote the words out and made me say them or she would make sure I failed chemistry. I'm truly sorry for everything that I did that night and for all the unnecessary pain I caused you. Gemma I love you." He ended

"Lucas if you're gonna  have me this time and fall in love with me fully  you should know I few things about me first. I cry, whether it be in a scary movie, sad movie or just because I'm feeling emotional that day I can cry a river. I'm afraid of being left and I'm afraid of not being good enough for you. I can hate myself on days and feel beautiful the next. I'm broken and battered, my heart is on its last strings. I need to fell loved in order to love. I am a mess so beware that you are falling I love with a hurricane who at any moment can exploid and take you down under" I said and once again he repeated his words "Gemma I love you."

And as the wind blew outside I looked into his eyes and repeated those three words to him and for the first time I did not feel so vulnerable around him. I looked at him and I saw a bright future. But little did I know that I had a few more surprised waiting for me in the days to come.