The Dead Killer

Chapter Nine

No level of apology would ever make up for what he did to me.
Isn't it funny how someone could mean the world to you and then in the blink of an eye they change and you no longer feel the way you felt about them before? I feel that way now.
I've thought about what I said before.
When I said that he can kill me and I wouldn't care.
I'm not changing what I said. I'm not going to take it back.
In fact, I still want it to happen.
He can kill me. He can kill me slowly, or however he wishes.
I realize that this was a man that I once loved, but I also realized that he is no longer that man.
I did think that maybe I could change him back, but I saw that he was too far gone. There is nothing I can do for him now.
So yes, kill me Jimmy. But please, please, PLEASE don't kill Barry. Whatever you do. Whatever sliver of sanity you still have left whatever compassion you have stored 9 miles deep in your heart please don't kill Barry. He didn't know what he was getting himself into when he got involved with me. Heck, I didn't even know myself.
Just.. Don't kill Barry. He deserves to live a long, and happy life. I owe him that much. You might not owe either of us anything, Jimmy, but I owe Barry a heck of a lot more than I can give.
So.. If you won't kill me Jimmy... I will.
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Jimmy stopped coming down to check on me.
He probably stopped caring, if he ever did in the first place.
I mean why should he care?
Why should he feel any emotion for killing me, let alone regret?
Oh right, because he shouldn't. He shouldn't feel a single emotion after he kills me and that's the way its supposed to be.
He isn't supposed to feel a single thing for me anymore. Especially compassion.
He is a monster.
I am merely the victim.
I wouldn't feel betrayed if he stopped caring about me. In a way I expect it. I mean I completely expect it. I moved on. I shouldn't have. Now I merely brought another victim to feel Jimmy's wrath.
"Barry?" I ask.
He answers from the next room, "Sophia? Is that you?" He asks.
"Yes, Barry it's me. Listen to me, okay?" I reply.
"Alright, babe. I'm here." He says.
"He's going to kill me, okay? I am going to have him kill me. But before he does, I will force him to agree to let you go. Okay? I'm going to fix this, baby. My life for your freedom. I'll make sure he agrees to leave you alone. I'm gonna make everything better. Okay?" I ask.
It feels like an eternity before he replies.
"No. You're not going to do that Sophia. I can't let you do that." He says.
"Why not? Its only fair! I'm the one who got us into this. I have to be the one that gets us out." I say.
"That's it Sophia! You won't be getting US out! You'll be getting ME out WITHOUT you! I can't do that." He says.
"You're gonna have to." I say.
"No. I will take any other option besides that one." He says.
"That's the thing, Barry. There are no other options." I whisper.