Lilac

Chapter 3

The next couple of days at school was filled with nothing but my friends asking who Alex was, what i'll wear on the date, that if he hurts me he's a dead man, and other things that involve Alex.

I had told my mom about him, she was happy for me but I know deep down that she was a little scared for me. She doesn't trust guys around me, she says she doesn't want to see my heart broken but honestly it's been that way for awhile.

I'm currently in my room procrastinating, thinking and feeling anxious.

Tomorrow is the date and i'm kind of nervous, my anxiety is so bad right now I hate it. I want to just miss school tomorrow cause i'm literally shaking i'm so nervous.

My thoughts get interrupted by my little sister running into our room yelling "Autumn! Autumn, look at the beautiful bracelet I made! Look, I even made one for you!" She smiled

"Oh wow, They are beautiful! Just like you, thank you Livy I love it" I hug her

She giggles and runs off to the living room

I look down at the bracelet that read "best sister" on it, I couldn't help but smile at the kind gesture and put it on.

She never did things like this for Audrey, maybe because Audrey always ignores her. Audrey isn't the nicest person in the entire world, she doesn't really socialize with the family; only her friends and their families.

My mom tries her best to talk to Audrey but she always catches an attitude with her so my mom just stopped trying. Don't get me wrong, my mom loves her, it's just Audrey's a real bitch.

Audrey and I weren't that close but when I was little I always wanted to be like her cause she seemed so cool, but I guess that's the mentality you have when you're the little sibling. She would let me play with her sometimes but only on good days or if my mom told her to be nice to me, there were days where she was like my best friend but then she just started drifting apart around middle school.

Then Olivia came along, she's the sweetest little girl i've ever met, I love her with all my heart. I don't want her to end up like Audrey so I try to be with her as much as I can so Audrey doesn't do anything to her.

"Autumn! Dinner's ready!" My mom called from the kitchen

I sigh as I get out of bed, walking into the kitchen

"It's just you, Liv, and I tonight...again." My mom sighs

"Don't worry mom, thanks for dinner" I kiss her cheek

"You're welcome hun" She smiles

After dinner Liv and I helped clean up so our mom could rest

"Autumn?" Liv asked

"Yeah?"

"Why do you always wear long sleeves? Why don't you roll them up when we wash dishes, you'll get them all wet" I freeze "Don't you get hot?" She looks up at me

"Uh, no I just like them cause they're comfy"

"Oh, like my pajamas? They're comfy!" She smiles

"Yup, just like your pajamas" I fake a smile

We finished up dishes so I go ahead and leave to my room while Liv goes to the living room to play with her toys. I sigh at the thought that my poor family doesn't know about me hurting myself or how bad my depression has gotten. It's sad cause I just want to talk to my mom about it but I'm scared that she'll think of me differently.

The Next Day:

Of course this whole day consisted of my friends asking me/telling me the do's and don't's on a date, like all the way to school they talked about it, all of lunch and now the bus ride home. They aren't helping my nerves what so ever.