Lilac

Chapter 15

Now that I know Alexs' family, I've been over for dinner, I feel so welcomed into their family it's nice. We're on break for the holiday so Alex and I have been hanging out pretty much everyday, i'm either at his house or he's at mine. Our friends join in as well so it's not all about us, Astrid and I have been becoming really close, she doesn't know too much about me but enough to where she opened up to me. She's so optimistic it's crazy, well to me it is cause you know i'm not very much so. She loves art so she had invited me to paint with her one day at a studio she knows.

Caden's family is having their annual New Years Eve party tonight so my mom, little sister, and I are getting ready. I feel extra insecure tonight, yeah I feel this way all the time but not so intensely, I hope tonight isn't terrible.

"Honey do you know if Audrey's gonna be there tonight?" My mom yelled from across the house

Audrey sometimes shows up, sometimes drunk, sometimes with her friends who are also drunk, she's just a mess on New Years.

"No mom i'm not sure!" I yelled back as I continue looking through my closet for something. I texted Grace if she had anything I could wear that had long sleeves but unfortunately she didn't. I asked Astrid then and luckily she was willing to let me borrow a dress, I asked if she could take a picture of it to see if i'd like it but she said to "trust her".

"Autumn is Alex coming?" Livy asked

Of course she'd ask "yes love" I said

I decided to just do my makeup while Astrid is on her way, I guess i'd go all out tonight.

It's been awhile since anyone's seen me go all out. For that while, I was clean around my freshman year of high school I actually looked okay, I was trying to be okay. My friends were helping me as much as they could, poor James; he was new to our friend group and didn't understand my mood swings but when I trusted him enough I told him. It hurt him to know that this is what i've been struggling with, it hurt all of my friends. Especially Grace and Caden, I had known them since I was little, I know Caden doesn't really show much emotion but when he does you can see how much he cares for the people he loves. But soon enough I couldn't or they couldn't keep my spirits all the way up, so I fell. I broke.

I had stepped back from my mirror and was impressed with myself since I hadn't practiced makeup in so long, well, besides Halloween but that's different.

I hear a gasp "Your eyes look so beautiful Autumn!" Liv said from beside me

It brought a smile to my face "Thank you Livy"

I then heard the doorbell ring "Oh! It's Astrid I got it!" I said as I walked to the front door

"Hey! I brought the dress, you're going to love it!" Astrid said

We go into the living room and she unzips it from the bag it came in "I never really wore it cause I didn't think it looked good on me but I think it would be in a better place with you" She said as the dress is exposed

It's a glittery green bodycon dress that is way out of my comfort zone "Astrid-"

"No, before you judge it, go try it on, trust me Autumn" She said

I rolled my eyes and went into my room to change, I decided to put some pantyhose on since the dress would come up a bit. It actually looked more me with them on.

I sighed as I opened my door to see Astrid talking to Olivia

"What do you think?" I asked

"Wowza! You look incredible! Doesn't she?" She asks Liv

"Yeah! You look beautiful!" Olivia hugs me

"I'm not sure..." I said

"Autumn have you-" My mom walks in "Wow this dress looks gorgeous on you, I haven't seen you in something so sparkly in years" My mom said