Lilac

Chapter 2

"Autumn? Are you okay? Do you need to step out?" My teacher asked next to me

I didn't notice but... I was crying. Fuck, I was crying.

"Y-Yes please" I got up and left with my backpack and notebook

I ran to the janitors closet and cried, I hated this feeling, the need to feel something other than emptiness and sadness.

I sat in the closet until the bell rang, I could feel how red and puffy my eyes were so I kept my head down. I decided to go to my Algebra teacher and apologize along with a short explanation. He understood and gave me a break on today's homework.

I hurried my way to English class, taking my seat next to James

"Autumn what happened? Were you crying?" He worried

Shit. I forgot I look like a hot mess

"I'm fine, just bad memories" I try not to let any tears fall

"We'll talk about this later okay?" He reassures me

"Okay" Is all I can say

We didn't have much to do in English today, mostly reading the Scarlett Letter so I just sat in my seat passing notes to James. He was asking if I was okay which I replied with a'I'm fine, don't worry' though he wasn't at all convinced

He let it be until the bell rung to leave for 4th period

"Autumn I hate seeing you this way, what happened?" He asked

"My last day of 5th grade." I say

"Oh Autumn I'm sorry, he's gone now okay? He won't hurt you or your mom ever again" He hugged me

"Thanks but you never know what the future holds"

The abuse kept happening. Even when my Mom was pregnant with Olivia. My dad is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, he didn't care a lot of the time about anything. It hurt to see my Dad constantly mentally and physically abusing my mom. My older sister Audrey would hide in her room when they'd start arguing. I was alone. In about 2 months after the last day of school is when I started developing my depression. I'd seclude myself from everyone and everything.

Except for Grace of course. She was the only one I could talk to about this, though for those two months she had to visit some family in Tennessee, we didn't have phones so we couldn't talk to each other. It was hell without her, though every now and then her mom would call mine and we'd be able to talk

She knew everything, she helped me or at least tried.

In 6th grade I met my other wonderful friends, they slowly found out about my situation. They didn't find me weird or anything, they supported me and took me in

I'm very fortunate

"I'll see you at lunch alright?" James let's go

"Okay, bye have fun in History" He smiles

*Sighs* Time for art.

I love art class, it gave me an outlet to all the negative things, I'd draw them out which made me feel a tiny bit better.

My art teacher Mrs. Cargill knew my situation as well... she's like my counselor, she was basically my at school mom, and I was like her at school daughter

"Good Morning Mrs. Cargill" I lightly smile

"Good Morning sweet heart, how was your morning?" She hugs me

"Not the best" I hug back

"Another memory?" She asks

"Mhm" I set my backpack down and retrieve my sketch book