|| Second Book! Can not be read as a stand-alone || Read The Secrets Of Finnley first!
"Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire."
After getting in a lot of trouble, Cristian tried to pick up his carefree life again. He focusses on...
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- 5th letter from Emma -
Dear, sweet Finn, my love,
I know I shouldn't be writing you and I know you probably hate my guts. But I want to try and explain why I did the things I did and I hope, after reading my explanations, you'll eventually will be able to forgive me. Because I love you and it's slowly killing me to not have you in my life at all.
I guess it's always easier to speak up after losing something. You know what they say... you only know what you had until it's gone. And you're gone and boy do I wish I could turn back time.
Do you remember the short period in which we dated? I was starting to have doubts about Jacob and like my knight in shining armour, there you were; to listen to my ranting. I never got the idea you really liked me up until that point. I always felt like you tolerated me because Cris and I used to be the best of friends. I never liked Cris – not because of who he is – because I know he is just the sweetest, kindest, somewhat oblivious person there is. But because I long knew you liked him more than what was normal.
I'm not writing you to try and make you realise you deserve way more than what Cris could offer you. We both know he's not romantic, he isn't a guy that would threat his partner like a precious gem. Neither am I writing you to convince you I would do that; be grateful to be with you, each and every day.
I'm writing you because I guess you never really understood why I didn't try harder to get you home again.
You and I both know you didn't mind not to be with your family. You hated home and the fact you only wanted to go home because you couldn't stand the idea of never seeing Cris again... Oh Finny, how much pain I felt when Jeff told me you kept ranting because you wanted to keep Cris safe. All you did, you only did for him, not even for your own safety.
I was jealous, Finny. I wanted you to look at me like that. I wanted you to think I was that special.
But instead, you used me to deceive your parents when they started doubting your sexuality. Because you never ever took a girl home. You only ever took Cris home and your parents saw the way you looked at him.
Do you remember how delighted your parents reacted when you took me home for the first time? How joyful they were because you introduced meas your girlfriend? They were so happy, Finny. Because they know we're supposed to be together and you do too. Why else would you even try to deceive them? You wouldn't do that if you wouldn't understand that it's normal to be with a girl. That it's wrong to want to be with a boy.
And then, Finny, you broke my heart. You never knew that I knew your biggest secret long before anybody else. I saw you and Nathan one night. I was out with friends and there you were, kissing him. You were supposed to date me, yet you went behind my back and kissed someone else. Not just someone else; a boy.
