In your lap Griffin pulled at his ears, a sign that he was stressed out to an extremely unsafe level. You felt terrible and irresponsible for not telling him beforehand, you felt like a lot of this could have been avoided if you had just explained to him what was going to be happening before Kylo landed in front of your home. You cuddled him close, at least by now he had stopped crying and was just stressing out in your lap.
"Griffin, mommy has something to tell you."
"Mmm?" He hummed in response, he looked like a corpse while he just stared coldly at the wall ahead of you. His skin had always been pretty pale but today it seemed to almost resemble snow. You didn't know how to proceed in this conversation with your son. Would you tell him Kylo is his father? Would you tell him the two of you were going to live with him for the next two days? Would you assure him that you would be back with Finn after two days? All of these questions buzzed around in your head, you wished you had a fellow adult to discuss this issue with. Finn had gotten angry at you and left, and you didn't want to ask Kylo for advice, fearing his answer would be extremely biased. You were on your own with this conversation, and you hated it.
"Do you know where we're going?" Griffin dropped his hands into his lap and leaned his head back against your chest, he shook his head back and forth slowly, you could tell he was just as lost as you were. "We're going to the First Order." You had expected more tears from him but you got nothing. The poor boy was so afraid he just sat there silently as you told him he was about to end up with his enemies. "We're going to um. You and I are..."
How do you tell your innocent, precious, son, your son that you want to do nothing but protect from all the evil people and things in this world, that his mother was willingly taking him to his number one enemy and biggest fear because the man he had come to know as his father was a lie?
"We're going to spend some time with Kylo Ren." It was the only sentence you could think of, and it broke your heart to hear the words leaving your lips. "But, but I don't wanna spend time with Kylo Ren." Griffin replied, his voice rising with just a hint of tears. You bowed your head into his hair and took a huge whiff that ended with a heavy sigh, last night you had used his favorite shampoo conditioner to wash his hair; he smelled like fresh peaches. "I know, son. I know. Your mommy hardly had a choice though, but I promise we'll be going back home in a few days."
"But I wanna go back home now."
"I know, I know."
"I wanna see daddy, mama." You cringed, you were sure Kylo would want to waste no time in revealing who he truly was to Griffin. You almost felt like fleeing as soon as the ship touched down in the snow just to save Griffin from the trauma of having to learn about his true paternity. You were certain that if you messaged Finn and told him everything had gone sideways just as he had predicted he would come and snatch you guys up faster than you could say "I was wrong."
But no, you had argued so hard for your right to be here and your pride was getting in the way, you would have to just hope for the best.
You and Griffin sat silent for the rest of the ride, unable to continue the conversation any further in fear of scaring the poor boy. You hadn't been paying attention to the window until you saw the outside change dramatically. No longer was it black with a twinkle here and there from the stars, it was now white with hints and tints of grey. As the ship slowed you could clearly see that you had landed in the hangar, it was now time to face the music.
You pushed Griffin off of your lap and moved to your suitcase, if memory served correctly the hangar was cold, and it would be quite a walk before you could get to some warmth so you wanted Griffin to wear his heavy snow coat. As you unzipped the bag you noticed something quite troubling, it wasn't cold in your bunker. There wasn't even the slightest chill. It was September, meaning back at home it would start getting colder but no, on Star Killer Base it was warm. You stood back up and saw that Griffin had followed you over to the corner, not wanting there to be any space there didn't need to be in between the two of you.
YOU ARE READING
Reteach Me | Kylo Ren x Reader
FanfictionFinally out of the clutches of your husband, Kylo Ren, you try and make peace with your past. Everything is going great, your friendships, relationship, and just your sense of the Resistance community in general. That is, until you find out Kylo isn...