Descent

Monday, Oct. 9, 2017

10:32 AM 

Iggy and everyone went at it again. You know, shouting at me, shoving me around, the usual. I skipped breakfast in my haste to get to the meeting. Matt and Gil invited my to lunch, but I said no. For some reason, I don't want to be around anyone.

I hate how Gil acts so innocent. I saw him laughing at me when Arthur slammed me into a wall, which caused a vase to fall on my head. It hurt too..... Not to mention those other times you were acting like an ass. So, when Gil reads this, thanks for nothing. We may have been friends before, but I don't want to say a word unless it's strictly on business. And yeah, I may be overreacting, but when you're the world's superpower, everything has a double meaning.

5:54 PM

Mattie and Gil hooked up. Great. My brother is dying the person I hate the most at the moment. Arthur and Francis too. I don't get it, I thought they use to hate each other!! Maybe, making me miserable is how they bonded. It's ridiculous. Suddenly every meeting I go to is watching people eat each other's faces. It's like I'm the only sane one there.   

6:30 PM 

I'm really starting to lose hope. Matthew doesn't talk to me anymore. And, I know he's gone through this before. I am the one who talked him out of it the first time, after all. I do wish he'd try to make any form of contact with me, or does that make me  sound desperate....?

 I've been smiling less and less each day. When I show up to meetings. I do my customary "THE HERO HAS ARRIVED!!" Greeting and plaster on a fake smile. Matthias has asked me about it, but I just brushed him off like the usual.

9:03

I did it, without thinking. Today, after being tormented by Arthur and Francis after agreeing to have dinner at Mattie's, I locked myself in the bathroom and looked for the nearest sharp object. I found the Swiss army knife that Vash left when he last visited.

One cut for every name they call me.

Fat.

A single red line on my pale skin. 

Idiot.

Blood stains the sleeve of my shirt.

Egoistical Manic.

 I finally notice the pain.

Useless.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I hear a knock at the door. It must be Matthew, Arthur and Francis just left.

"Al, you been in there for an awfully long time. Are you alright? It's been almost half an hour..." I can hear the fake concern in his voice. I see the hate in his eyes when he looks at me. I know his smiles are forced. After all, I've caused him so much pain, physical, and emotional. When Maximillian hits him, and when everyone thinks he's me.

"I'm fine. Go away, please....." I call back, obviously annoyed.

I snoop in his medical supplies for some gauze and bandages. I wrap my arm and leave, ignoring Matthew's questions and the pulsing, stinging sensation in my arm.