Descent

Tuesday, Oct. 24

I feel like shit. I haven't even ahad the motivation to write for the past month. The only reason I've been eating is because of Matthew. He's convinced I'm sick, and he needs to take of me like the wonderful brother he is.

They went at it again. Caught in the middle of another fight. Can't Arthur and Francis ever leave me alone? I mean, like every meeting I've gone to feels alot like Hell. I know my school system sucks. I know my president might start WWIII. He isn't even aware my existence. Imagine the chaos that would happen if he did. I'd  be sent all over the country, campaigning against something that would actually help my economy.

His 'polite' comments aren't helping either. The other nations are taking advantage of this fact, and constantly laugh about it behind my back. Fuck,   they don't even bother to whisper. I once heard the Koreas talking about me, clear as day, from across the meeting room.

Mattie has tried to stand up for me but, nobody hears him over all the chaos. The only time he's been able to do that is when he let Matt take over. Whoo, that would've been bad.

I can't fucking stand it. England ans France were supposed to be my family. Of course, Washington was more of a father to me. Imagine if your parents left you for years at a time, promising to return and play, only to be shoved away. His excuse every time? "I've got too much paperwork. Maybe tomorrow." France did the same thing to Matthew. Spain did the same thing to the Mexicos. If I could, I'd go back and demnd that they actually try to fathers.

Matthew is making pancakes. I don't think I'll eat any of them. They're delicious, and damn near impossible to resist. But, I don't want to get fat and let other nations ridcule me for it. After all, what's a fat hero worth?