Descent

July 15th, 2018

Alfred slowly opened his eyes. He remembered his conversation with Portugal last night and even remembered calling him Papa. At the thought of that, he slightly froze. But than relaxed as he remember Portugal's response to that.

He had called him, his son. 

Alfred slightly smiled at the memory. Hopefully Portugal wouldn't change his mind and start to hate him like England and France did centuries ago.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:54 am, he than realized that he was still in his father's arms. Portugal had him in a protective hold.

America laid his head back on his father's chest to try and go back to sleep for another 30 or 35 minutes. And it was working for awhile, until he remembered something and his eyes snapped open.

He still had to see England today.

It wasn't like it was for the whole day, their leaders were just gonna say some last minute things before America and his boss would fly over to Finland since his president and Russia's president wanted to have a meeting with each other. He would be leaving England by 11am. 

But that still didn't mean he wanted to see Arthur.

What if he taunted him for his weight, like he and so many others always did?

Or what if he called him out on the things his country had done wrong in the past?

Or on the fact that he still couldn't get his gun violence under control?

Or-

Alfred felt himself shaking. He felt like he couldn't breath. This always happened when he thought of England, and even with France and Spain too, but it was mostly with England and it was always worst.

He tried remembering what his family had told him to do when this happened but it was hard to think of anything right now. A few tears were falling, oh damn, was he gonna faint?

Alfred sat up and got off the bed but as soon as his feet hit the ground, he went down. His stomach wasn't feeling so well. He felt like wanted to puke. 

His voice was caught in his through, Portugal probably didn't even hear him. Breathe, he needed to breathe. Just breath. Nope, that was too hard. Crap, he was getting so dizzy now. 

America closed his eyes and let out a whimper but suddenly jumped when he felt a hand rub soothing circles on his back. "You're okay. Shh, everything's okay menino. I promise you. Breathe just breathe. Inhale."

Alfred took a deep breath in.

"Good, now exhale."

He let it out.

Portugal wiped his tears away, "Keep going, I'm right here." 

His voice was calm and soothing. Alfred slightly leaned into Portugal as he kept breathing. He didn't want to see England today, he just wanted to be with him.

Portugal had woke up with the feeling that something was wrong and was when he heard a whimper. When he looked to the floor and saw Alfred, his fatherly instincts immediately snapped on. 

When Alfred was finally calm, he laid his head on his father's chest and sniffled, but didn't say anything.

 "Are you okay, now?" Portugal asked after awhile.

Alfred just nodded, "This happened yesterday too."

Portugal's eyes widen. He had to go through this alone? "Is this a normal- Does this happen often?"

America nodded again as a few tears started to fall again, "Yeah, usually when I think of them." He couldn't help but just cry, even though it happen often. It didn't mean that it wasn't any less terrifying.