A Collection of Randomness

Family

I guess you could say I don't have a family.

Legally, I'm living with my 'family'.

But I don't even know the woman who carried me for nine months.

I don't know the man who loved her. 

I don't know if I have a sister or brother,

or if they're spread across the world like me. 

I'm stuck here with this 'family'.

The 'family' that mentally exhausts me after just an hour with them.

The 'family' that doesn't even try to give half a shit about me. 

For instance, 

last night my dad asked for his 'kid's' opinions.

Of course, my 'sister' piped up right away.

Then my dad turned to my brother.

Guess who was forgotten?

Yours truly. 

I looked over to my mom and whispered,

'well, he got the opinion of the only two kids that matter.'

She just looked at me, smiled sadly, and said,

'we can be the oddballs.'

While that may have helped a little,

now I know where I stand in this 'family'.

I can't wait until they leave,

so I can curl up in my bed and just disappear once again. 

That's another thing.

They pick on me relentlessly because I hate coming out of my room.

Maybe I don't come out because of you. 

Maybe I hate being around you because you can't find a single nice thing to say.

Maybe I hate you because you try to exclude me at every damn twist and turn.

It seems I can't do a single fucking thing right.

After all, I am just a screw up.

I'm an accident child. 

I know quite a few people who say that about themselves.

But at least their parents kept them.

At least they can live their lives without the nagging pain of not knowing the family that they were born to. 

At least they can say that their parents didn't give up on them. 

The worst part of this,

is that I'm writing it right in front of their faces.

But they're too busy talking and complaining

to notice the teenager

sitting in the corner

drowning

in 

her

pain.