Hidden Close (Jr. Year)

Chapter 61

Part 61 Of The First Draft

Is it really going to end like this? February is coming to an end, and since Perry returned, I have not had to fight off my depression once. That may not sound impressive to many, but for me, it's a miracle, just as was the return of my beloved husband-to-be. My head may have been severely injured when he was gone, but I hardly noticed a difference. What force has cured me? Is this what the power of the lamia truly is? Am I to feel his whole power course through my veins? Honestly, it feels good. Real good.

How am I to ignore what had happened, though? Each day I'm scared to death that he may leave again. One day, late at night on the weekend, I shared how I felt at the coffee shop with him,

“Perry, don't you ever leave my side again. I could have died.”

Perry, who was dressed in his sweatshirt, as the weather is already getting warmer, hung his head down towards his coffee cup. His hair was slicked back and he looked both beautiful and like a full gentleman at the same time. He sighed, and told me, without bringing his head up, his voice full of remorse and abandon,

“It is the worst thing I have ever done. I can't forgive myself for what I did to you. I'm...I’m so lucky to have you.”

I did not stop my plea. I merely laughed, and cruely said to him, giving him no forgiveness,

“You did wrong to the one you are supposed to love the most. It hurt, Perry.”

This assertiveness. I feel as if...as if can stand up for myself. No longer do I feel like I will take abuse from anyone. I asked him, demanding to know,

“Promise me this. That you won't leave me. Promise if the demons of Hades itself came to kill me that you would die by my side, gladly.”

Perry drew up, and affixed his gorgeous eyes on mine. He wiped away what could have been a tear and gave me his word,

“I would die by your side if it only meant to that you would feel my love pass through you as we left this world. I love you, my fair brunette lady. You are the only thing worth dying for.”

I gasped, surprised at what he has said. Maybe I'm not the only one who has changed. His words are by far unusual for even him. Despite all of the bad poetry and lyrics he's ever written, this is uncanny for even him.

“Oh, Perry....what would I have done without you? I would have taken my own life if you had not came along. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Hold my hand, baby. Each moment I feel the lamia power flow through me. It's fantastic, but baby, it troubles me. It's like I am changing, each and every moment that ticks by.”

Perry hushed his voice, not wishing for others to hear, telling me,

“Don’t be afraid. When our one year anniversary comes, the changes will become stable, and you will become, fully, my lamia bride.”

I was legitimately touched. I grabbed his hand, and conceded to him,

“Okay, I'll not be afraid anymore, but only because you'll be at my side.”

We took the check, paid for the coffee, and walked hand-in-hand to Perry's car. I wonder how he ever got it home, considering they brought Grace's rig back to Knoxville as well. I know he is blind, but can Brad drive ? Does the gift of the lamia fix what is wrong with us as a human? Will I finally be cured of all my problems? Will my anxiety finally disappear?

Do I want my problems to be gone, though? Is that not what makes me human? I don't know if I want to be human or lamia. I wish I could be both. The way I feel in this strange transitionary period is breathtaking. I've tasted reality, and I have tasted mine. When I made it back home, I made a promise to myself. If becoming a lamia makes me perfect, then I'm throwing out my pills, my razorblades, I’ll throw it all away. I’ll let my humanity die if it only means for once I won't be....weird. I want to be his, and if that means crawling underneath his skin and becoming his beautiful and majestic lamia darling, then so be it. I will be his angel, full of beauty and might. No longer will I run away from this challenge we call life. I will fight forever. Forever.

When Monday came the day seemed to drag on. It seemed as if time was lengthening. I wasn't feeling anxiety, and it was almost incredible. Each thing the teacher said seemed to make more sense than it ever had for me. I was raising my hand, answering questions correctly, impressing others and even myself. Kids in my class were buzzing over it. I overheard them speak,

“That's quiet little Mindi....she’s changed. What happened to her? She's even pretty now...before she was drab and plain.”

When I sat down, I felt as if I was a worm that had finally changed into a dazzling butterfly. On the walk home, I asked Perry, as we hurried to his house,

“Will I forget who I am? I'm not going to lie to you, Perry. I would love to leave my former self behind, forever. I want to forget everything that happened to me before.....before you happened to me.”

Perry stopped me, and kissed me gently. He reassured me, his emotion now seeping from him at every pore,

“We can forget the past. Before, it hurt for me, too.”

This is unreal. He's changed, too. It’s as if he is truly remorseful for leaving me. But even still, he seems....more romantic, more caring. The way he now moves is both unnatural and delicate. He's finally becoming a man, and he's making everything around us disappear. He's keeping me hidden close inside his heart, a dark place where I want to spend eternity.