Hidden Close (Jr. Year)

Chapter 62

Part 62 Of The First Draft

This is the path I take, this is the choice I have to make. These words rang out through my head for nearly a week straight. This is my life now. There is no turning back. Perry is mine to love and I will be awarded with all of the joy and all of the complications that come with the task of loving him. Loving him is easy, but the challenges introduced by loving someone like him make it seem like an impossible fight.

As February left us, the changes that were happening to me became more intense. My thoughts became less human by the moment. Every day I felt as if I was...dying. Everything is fading away and being replaced by thoughts of our own personal hidden world. Everything I'm doing now would have seemed alien to the old me. The way I feel inside now is fragile but powerful. My exterior is hardened but my insides are becoming emotionally intense. My tears are falling over the most trivial of all things. The most disturbing part of it all is that it feels...nice. My emotions seem as if they are some sort of supernatural weapon, playing a hypnotic song for the people around me to dance to. Perry even seems effected by it, much to my shock. Early on in April, he asked me,

“What does it feel like to you? For me it felt painful. When I met you, Mindi, I was just a boy who easily fell in love with you. It's pretty hard not to fall in love with a girl like you. I had to struggle to hold onto that boy who fell head over heels for you.”

I laughed, slightly touched by his words. I told him, as I pulled him to a picnic table that the school has in its courtyard,

“I’ll never fall out of love with you. I just feel as if my weakness is bending until it breaks, replacing it with a strange type of strength that is....how you say, deceptive. It fights me and tries to break me, and if I am strong enough to stand against its assault, then I become seeded with power, a power that corrects and changes the parts of me that hurt. So, yes, Perry, it hurts.”

Perry smiled, as if he had gained the validation that he desperately sought. I smiled back at him, walking with him to class. The days sped by, and our anniversary crept closer and closer. I want to be able to say that I am officially no longer human. I know that sounds completely selfish, but who really would blame me? I've suffered my whole life, and I deserve some sort of reward for not.....dying. I can't count all the times I've tried to kill myself. It's not something I'm bragging about, but it is a part of me. Something that I can say is a part of my own story. Those who would think that they are like me come from a special path, one that I would have true sorrow for. I don't wish my fate on anyone in this life.

The day was drawing rapidly near. Perry promised me that he would be with me all day when our anniversary came, and I thank the stars that it will fall on a Friday. I'll only have to suffer part of the day around others. Perry has said it happens in the form of an intense purging, one that feels so strong it is almost violent. That truly terrifies me, but at the same time it is exactly as I imagined. I'll have to be ready for it, as I must admit that it is...scary.

Friday came faster than I had hoped for. Perry picked me up at home , and we sat in his car together until it was almost time for class. He gave me some encouraging words before I started my extremely disturbing ordeal. When I had stepped out of his car, I felt as if there was a ton of weight pinning me to the ground. Perry put his arm around mine, and helped me to class. I kept thinking during each period, the thoughts being so loud that I could barely hear the words of my instructors. At one point, I felt like screaming. When lunch finally came, Perry rushed to my side, helping me sit down. He stayed by my side, and talked to me as I managed to eat my pizza. When the lunch break nearly came to an end, I mustered enough strength to softly tell him,

“Thanks babe. With you, I will make it through this day.”

Perry smiled and sneaked in a kiss before our lunch break came to a tragic end. The rest of the day was surprisingly easier, though, with insanity slipping only partially. When the trying school day finally came to an end, Perry drove me immediately to his house, where I was able to lay down on his couch. He got me a towel to put on my head and the tastiest glass of ice water I've ever drank. I panted and continued to sweat, and Renee came and noticed me on the couch. She commented, her voice soft and comforting,

“It was like that for me. I have complete sympathy for what you are going through, Mindi, my dear. I love you.”

I realized something just then. Renee seemed as if she had became...normal and not heroic to me. The gap must be closing between us, and it must be closing fast. I thanked her as I reached out and grabbed her hand,

“Renee, I'm lucky to have you in my life. I'll tell you the same thing I told Perry. Don't leave me behind. The worst thing I have ever lived through is being away from you and the others. I love you, too.”

At midnight, I rose from my laurels and was able to walk and control myself again. The power that surged through me is something that was terrifying and soothing at the same time. I embraced Perry, and playfully bit him on the neck, sucking on it for added effect. I told him, playfully while I held him by the shirt,

“I’m not a vampire, but still, I’d love nothing more than to take a delicious bite out of you. Perry, happy one year anniversary.”

Nothing else would ever be the same.

“Mindi, I'd love nothing more than to let you take a bite out me. Happy one year anniversary, darling, and oh what a year it's been.”