Hamilton Oneshots [DISCONTINUED]

35. Mullimads

A/N: I wanted to publish this on Christmas but I just couldn't finish it in time. 

James sighed as he watched his boyfriend parade happily around the living room, his eyes bright with Christmas cheer.  The holiday season always seemed to make Hercules as happy as could be, James however, was never as thrilled as his lover.  Christmas was never a happy time for James, especially not when Christmas marked the day his mother passed away years prior.

"Come on baby, why can't you just enjoy Christmas? Just this once?" Hercules asked, glancing at James as he adjusted a stocking that was hanging from the mantle. 

"You know I hate it, Herc," James mumbled, shrinking into the couch. He was hoping Hercules would leave it at that, but as Hercules sat down on the couch next to him, his eyes full of curiosity, James guessed this wasn't a conversation that he could easily drop.

"But why, baby boy? You always insist that I shouldn't buy you anything, you always beg me to put all of the decorations away, even though you know I spent hours putting them up," James wanted to retort that he only begs him after he puts all of the decorations up because Hercules never listens to him when he asks him to not put them up in the first place, but he decided to keep quiet. "And not only that, you refuse to have Christmas with your family. Sweetheart, we've had countless Christmases with my family, and I know my parents love you, but why do you never give me the chance to meet yours?" James gulped, avoiding Hercules' eyes. "A-Are you embarrassed of me? Is that why?"

"Hercules, that's not-"

"I know I'm loud, and occasionally I break things, but do you really think your mom and dad would hate me that much?" James looked up at Hercules, tears starting to prick at his eyes.

"Herc, my mom is d-dead," James muttered, blinking his tear glistened eyes. "She died four years ago, on December 25th," Hercules' lips parted slightly, he was shocked, and trying desperately to figure out a way to rewind time so that he never asked James. But unfortunately, time travel was something that was way out of reach, so Hercules was left to stare at James who now had his face buried in his hands, probably embarrassed to be crying.

"Baby, oh god, I'm so sorry," Hercules said breathlessly, though he knew so amount of pet names and frivolous apologies would make this better. "Why didn't you tell me?" Herc asked, pulling James into his lap.

"Because it's not exactly th-the easiest thing to talk about," James chuckled sorrowfully, wiping his tears away. He never liked crying, and he especially didn't like crying in front of Hercules. It made him feel vulnerable, and he hated that feeling.  "She's gone and my dad stopped talking to me after that.  He blames her cancer on me."

"What?  How could he do something like that to you?" Hercules asked, grabbing James' hands, squeezing them tight.

"It's only so he can have an excuse to avoid me.  I look a lot like my mom, we were really alike.  I just remind him of her too much. I call him every Christmas though, he's probably alone in the house.  I just wish he wasn't so stubborn, he shouldn't have to spend Christmas alone.  My mom would have been really upset," James left a small smile ghost his lips, the Christmases of his childhood flickering in his mind.  "It was her favorite holiday, and it used to be mind.  She always went insane around the holidays, decorating the hell out of the house, buying me and my dad gifts, a lot like you.  I know you would have loved you if she met you."

Hercules smiled, running his hands through James' short curls, trying to keep him as calm as possible.  He didn't want to say anything, not knowing how many words James could handle, so he sat quietly, listening.

"That's why she was so happy she survived till Christmas, god she was so happy," James bit his lip, tears starting to well in his eyes once again.  "I decorated her hospital room, I tacked stockings to the wall, my dad made Christmas dinner and brought it to her, she knew we couldn't have Christmas at home so we brought Christmas to her, the staff even brought in a small artificial tree in for her.  I still can't wipe the smile her face held from my mind."

"It's really sweet that you did that for her," Hercules said quietly, snapping James out of his trance like state. The smaller man nodded, settling back against Hercules.

"Yeah, she really enjoyed it all. But she insisted it wouldn't be Christmas if she didn't get me a present," James pulled a necklace from where it was hiding beneath his shirt. From the silver chain hung a small Christmas tree charm, and James turned it around to show the back, where the words 'Ellie Madison' were engraved.  "She couldn't buy me anything,  we were really tight on money from all the medical bills.  So she gave me this, it was her favorite," James smiled down at the glittery pendent.

"I'm sorry I always push you into the holidays, I didn't know how much you've been through," Hercules frowned, feeling a rush of guilt flow through him.  "I can take all of the decorations down, if you'd like."

"Of course not Herc, Christmas always makes you really happy.  I'm not going to take that away from you," James kissed Hercules' cheek gently, smiling up at his boyfriend, who's frown only deepened.  "What's wrong Hercie?" James asked, his eyebrows furrowing. 

"I won't be happy on Christmas if you're not happy," Hercules mumbled, pulling James closer against his chest.  He always got like this when he thought that there was a chance that his baby boy could be sad, he always got pouty and would hold James too tight.  It always made James chuckle, but he knew that even though Hercules looked dopey and clingy, that he did it because he was upset.  James hated upset Hercules as much as Hercules hated upset James.

"Then I'll try to be as merry as possible, my love," James cooed, pulling Hercules into a kiss, trying to distract him.  "Okay?"

Hercules looked up, his frown lifting slightly.  Even though James wore a smile, and acted like it was all fine, he knew the man well enough to know that he wasn't going to be merry on Christmas, it would be the same as every year.  James would hide in his room while Hercules made dinner, and he'd have to bring it to him in bed.  He'd refuse to open his presents and he'd practically shut Hercules out. James would pretend to be all fine and dandy when they went to Herc's parents house, but that's the only smile from the man Hercules would see all day.

That's why Hercules was positive he was going to make a change.  He was going to make this Christmas the best James had ever had.

A/N: I'm gonna write a part two... eventually.