Raising His Baby

Just Friends Right?

I sat with them and watched them interact. Jaeyoung was so comfortable with Joey. Why did I let it get this far? "Hey since I might not be able to go over as much while they're here I can make up for it now, and spend time with y'all until they get here. Is that alright with you?" I could tell he was a little nervous to ask, but I don't know why we always spend time together. "You don't have to Joey. I know you have a lot of work to do and you can get really busy." I wanted to say yes but maybe I should create some boundaries. "Please Ly, I'm going to work from home so it's fine I promise. After breakfast we can go to your place for a bit and then go to the park with Jae. Ok?" I couldn't say no to him he was giving me the cutest begging face. "Alright you win. Besides, the weather should be nice today." We left right away and Joey threw a duffle bag in his trunk. I have no idea what this an is planning on doing but he needs to fill me in.

We got to the park and Joey laid out a blanket for us. I set Jae down and brought out some snacks for us. Jaeyoung was babbling and playing with Joey so I decided to take pictures of them while they weren't looking. Joey caught me and pulled me with them so we could take pictures together. I couldn't hold my laughter when Joey began to take silly selcas with Jae. We sat there for hours talking, laughing, and playing with Jaeyoung. "Hey Ly are you ready to go? It's going to get dark soon. When we get home... I mean when we get to your house I'll order us some pizza." I laughed at his little comment and nodded my head. I can't believe he called my house home, maybe he did want something with me. I'm probably looking into it to much again I seriously need to calm down.

When we got home I put Jaeyoung in his swing and he fell asleep instantly. "I think he'll sleep through the night. He didn't even nap today." Joey lowered the stereo so Jae wouldn't wake up. "I hope so, he was sleeping through the night for awhile but now he's waking up every night." I sat on the sofa opposite to Joey. "Do you still play him their music?" Why does he constantly bring them up? "Yes, his favorite song right now is Before the Full Moon Rises. Now that hes trying to talk he'll mimic what he hears. It's so cute! I'll record him next time so you can see ok?" He smiled and stared at Jae. "Are you ever going to face them again? Mark misses you. He always asks if we hear or see you. It's getting harder and harder to keep the secret." I know there will never be a good time to face them again, but it's going to have to happen eventually. "I may when Jaeyoung is older or if I meet someone else and say that Jaeyoung is theirs." Joey scoffed and looked at me like I was crazy. "I don't think that would work Jae looks just like him. Besides, are you ready to date yet?" I thought I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes but I know it's all in my head. "I think I might be ready to date, but no one wants to date a single mom with an infant." Joey hesitated but finally spoke. "I don't mind you having Jaeyoung. I care for him to and we kinda act like a family sometimes." I was shocked at his sudden confession. I thought he had feelings for me but I thought it was all in my head. He moved closer to me and lifted my chin so I would face him. My heart started to pound as he got closer to me and nearly exploded when he kissed me. I didn't respond at first but eventually gave in. My body longed to be touched but part of me only wanted Jae's dad to be the one doing the touching. He pulled away first and rested his forehead against mine. "Can we try to work something out Ly?" I nodded I was far to nervous to speak. I hadn't kissed anyone since Jae's dad so it was kind of weird for me since it had been so long. "I know you're nervous so we can take things slow. I don't mind I want what's best for you and Jae." I smiled at him and pulled him in a hug. I could hear his heart was racing just like mine. I felt at ease and I let myself get caught up in the moment.

After we ate and after we put Jae to sleep in his room I pulled Joey to my room. We changed and awkwardly got in bed. "What about Jae's dad? How would we explain dating plus Jae?" I didn't want to bring it up, but if we were going to consider dating then we needed to think about what we would say. "We'll think of something when the time comes. For now, lets just let it happen naturally." I was laying with Joey but all I could think about was him. I still care about him but I know nothing will come of us. I try to not read about him but lately I've seen a lot of articles about him possibly dating, and he didn't really deny it in the interview I listened to. Maybe I need to move on already. Joey is great with Jae and he cares for both of us. I guess I'll give it a try and find out the hard way. I drifted off to sleep in Joey's warm embrace. Tonight's dream was different, it was me, Jaeyoung, and Joey. Everything was good until he showed up. He didn't say a word and just watched as Jae played with Joey. I tried to talk to him but he just looked at me and disappeared. I looked back to Jae and Joey and everything around me started to vanish. All I could see was them two playing and everything seemed so calm. I felt at peace and decided it was time to start a new path and move on.