instagram | c.h. | book 2

53

CALUM POV

Luke's funeral was a blur to me as all I could think of was every possible moment I'd had with Luke. From the moment we met to our final minutes together. The wise words he shared, the jokes he told, the people he loved and how they were affected. As far as I was concerned, this was nothing but a nightmare that I couldn't seem to wake up from. But deep, deep down inside, I knew that sometimes reality can be the actual nightmare. An everlasting one if you didn't try and make it a dream.

Everything coming out of everyone's mouth was nothing but a blur to me. Even when I spoke, I spoke nothing but words. I mean, what else was I supposed to speak am I right? I was supposed to speak my feeling, my emotions, everything I've ever felt. I wish there was a do-over on such things, but I soon realized that it didn't matter what everyone else had heard. Luke knew how big of a role he played in my life and the role he would continue to play.

"I don't understand why people tried to pressure us into having this grand dinner party or something after Luke's funeral", Emily scoffed as we opened drawers, put clothes into bags, and looked at old photos in Luke's room.

"I think they expected a bit of hospitality from us is all", Ashton said seriously.

Emily shrugged in response, "They had a service and everything in Australia for his family and other people. We just wanted to have something special between us and the people he was close with."

"They'll understand eventually", Summer intervened with a shrug while looking down at a Polaroid, "Aww, this is from one of the first times we all officially hung out as a group", she cooed at the photo.

We all leaned over to look at the picture before letting out a chorus of 'awws' and 'i remember thats'.

"Luke's first Good Charlotte CD", Michael chuckled at the disc which lied in perfect condition on Luke's old CD rack.

This continued for about the next hour. We told stories of the blonde boy, retold his jokes, talked about such an important person in our lives and how he would never be forgotten. How we would tell our kids about him, how our kids would tell the stories about 'uncle luke', and how it would continue for generations after even we were all long gone.

"Luke's Journal. Do not read or even consider opening unless I gave you permission or AM DEAD", Summer read out as we all walked over to where she sat on his neatly made bed.

We all let out laughs, "That's so Luke", Ashton shook his head with a chuckle.

"If I gave you permission, congratulations THAT DIDN'T FUCKING HAPPEN BECAUSE I WOULDN'T DO THAT. THEREFORE YOU'RE A LIAR AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO READ THIS", Summer continued, causing all to break out into fits of laughter, "But if I am dead, I am sorry for your loss. I know how much of an amazing person I was and I couldn't imagine having to deal with the loss of such an iconic boss ass legend."

"I'm guessing he's been like this all his life then", Crystal joked while waiting for Summer to continue.

"Look he has this part bookmarked but he continued writing after that", Summer tilted her head in confusion.

"Lemme see", I said as she handed me the blue leather journal, "Huh...that's weird", I scanned the page, "Should I read it?"

We all shrugged, "Go for it", Summer patted my arm for comfort, causing me to smile at her.

"Calum met a girl on Instagram and he is quickly falling head-over-heels in love with her. We've met her twice now. Her name is Summer and in the two times we've formally hung out as a group, I find her like a sister to me. I am glad Calum--basically my brother--found someone who seems to make him so happy.

My friends and everyone I know portray me as a straight-faced blonde who only speaks in the language of sarcasm. While that is half true for most of the people I know, it isn't for my friends. I just want them to be happy.

They're all going through shit like everyone else. But only few of us seem to actually get through our shit, and I'm pretty sure it's our friends (whether that friend be your sister, mom, dog, cousin, etc.) that get us through it all. Not our ability to recover well or quickly. But our ability to accept the love that others give us.

Quote of the day:

" Never forget who was there for you when no one else was, never forget what made you happy, never forget what made you sad, never forget what gave your purpose, never forget what made you live another day, never forget me and I swear to you that I will never forget you. " - (the literal author of this book lmao) "

a/n

not the end fyi 

but i'm getting so emotional writing all of this like