Review book [Closed]

21. Rabtaa

Author— NarBhiholic

I was laughing my ass off at the khaana wala sequence. Gosh, I missed khanna ji.

Now coming to the constructive feedback. I repeat constructive. This time I haven't really filtered my words.

First, try not to break the fourth wall. The fourth wall is the writer taking directly to the reader in the middle of the story.

Let's focus on the big things. Don't add pictures. I usually read the stories when I'm offline so please do me (and other readers) a favour, describe the actual thing. It irks me a lot that I have to have my internet on to read a story. 

I will give you an example. For instance when you added a picture of Anika's jogging attire.

Anika was wearing simple shorts and pink tank top. A T-shirt also accompanied it as she looked adorable in the dress. Her waist length hair fell freely and were tousled by the air.

It's just a quick description. Not the best one though but still a description.

And by description I remember,the actual description of the story. Where was it? Where did it go? Look, a description is very important. Why? Because it's the first entrance of a reader into your story. Readers like me want description. We want to know what we are signing up for. So it's necessary. Even prologue isn't.

You don't need to make ship names for everybody. I was wondering now who the hell this is. And gah...I was so confused.

Quick tips—

«»Please add translation.
«»Don't write abbreviated forms.
«»Write in inverted commas.
«»Check for spelling errors.

I'm sorry for being so blunt but sometimes it is what helps us improve. And I'm more than willing to do so...