nom de plume 🌹 tysh [✔]

[finifugal]

finifugal
adjective
to hate endings; of someone who tries to avoid or prolong the final moments of a story, relationship, or some other journey.

josh's point of view

i stare out into the icy window to the left, ty on my right side.

we've been married a couple of years now, and tyler's turning twenty-four tomorrow. it feels like yesterday when i snuggled onto his lap and found myself a soulmate.

the honey sun outside has vanished; the winter season coming into triumph. most birdies have left but some i still spot on my front porch, every so often.

the stars aren't clear to see, and i miss them so, but i see them in my husband's eyes more than the sky anyway. i hope it's because he looks at me.

we never liked the ending of things, movies, summer, life. but all good things come to an end, thats what ty says.

that's what he says he fears, but i know i'll be okay in the end of this. he smiles as i continue to space out into the snowy fields we once played in.

i want to play again.

···

the planet reached the point in time where the sun has faded; the night has come.

i gently grab ty's sleeping hand, and wake him up by pecking his lips a few more times then necessary.

his eyes were tired, and i was guilty, but it was time for us to return to our childish ways.

"baby, what time is it?" he asks, voice raspy.

"i think 2:36am"

i hadn't slept yet, too excited for what i had planned for us. my active brain thought he would love it, so i must take action, i thought.

"wha-"

"get dressed, please. i know it's late, tybunn' but we couldn't do this in the morning," i giggle, excited for his chocolate eyes to light up.

his hair had been messed up from slumber but i dont care. i never care; he always looks good. i kiss his cold cheek, while i get my packed bag.

i guarantee his hazy mind is fumbling his buttons on his shirt, curious and a little frustrated i made him wake up.

his insomnia and depression have been a lot better these few years, so i didn't feel that bad; i was so excited.

"i'll be right back, ty, i wanna set some things up, but when you're done meet me at our park, please."

i hear a soft murmur, something like "okay" or "see you soon, love" came out of his ruby lips.

i smile; he's so sweet.

i lock the door behind me and set off to our park.

those terrible orange playsets have faded slightly with use, but happily those ugly colors haven't vanished much.

i grab some fairy lights out of my bag, and set them around the trees, the orange swings, the orange and yellow sets, the faded magenta see-saws, the periwinkle merry-go-round, the whole place.
there's a little outlet by the streetlight for some reason, and i connect the fairy light by extension cord to it.

the dark is now beautiful, overcome by aesthetic.

i would've done this before, but it was snowing so it would've ruined the cables, plus thievery is still present.

suddenly, i hear a slushy kind of curious thunder, i recognize the footprint. 

"hey joshie boy, what're you doin'? OH WOW" he must've just now seen the glow of the lights.

"well it isn't allowed to do this, let alone after 8pm, so why not do it now?"

the man beside me laughs, and i enjoy the sound so immensely. i don't want this feeling to go away.

peering into my bag, i take two pieces of cardboard boxes out. i develop a plan.

"what have you thought up in that beautiful brain of yours, now?"

i giggle, and tell him there's no way we can't sled. his eyes look at the several "NO SLEDDING" signs; i scoff.

"everything we're doing is morally unacceptable so why don't we sled?"

"i guess you're right."

his anxiety seems to vanish, and i grasp his hand, "let's go." we head toward a hill in the end side of the park. i ride on my slim and flimsy piece of cardboard, and tyler tries his best to as well.

i laugh my heart out with him, he smiles when we stop. there's snow on our coats, in our shoes and down our cheeks. when he kisses me the cold goes away, into thin air.

his mouth on mine, the foggy moon above us, and the fairy lights surrounding.

nothing seems more perfect.

time goes slowly, my eyes closed, and my heart is beating faster than the comets shoot above. his hands move to my hips as we lay in the snow.

my hands were freezing, but they move to the back of his neck, playing with the little hairs. my life with him flashes while we kiss.

when we were younger, i'd call him using my momma's phone, and we'd play pretend, never thinking we would get married. be in love.

i feel like we knew it all along though.

his hands stay rested on my hips; i'm beyond comfortable.

after what feels like hours, we pull away, for a breath of course. i lay my head on his shoulder, and within the next few minutes we stand up.

we're still so young. so much life in us, and i don't regret settling in so fast. we all knew we'd end up together, let's just not waste any time.

digging into my bag, i grin.

"yoo-hoos?" i nod, "yummy!"

we drink, sitting at a picnic table, and tyler hugs me. this is it. this is life; this is living.

i am safe here, in his arms. i never would want it to end.

"let's go home, get a cup of cocoa, hm?"

"please," i whisper.

the cold doesn't bother me, because i know he's here to block it all away. i look at our forbidden "t.j + j.d" and grin.

i guess we're just sentimental; it's all we'll ever be.