sick in love

how my whole life was changed

any other fucking love story would start out with some stupid girl moving to a new school and meeting the jock boy who's 'mr. sweet' to her, but not in my case. my story hasn't even started and i don't even know if it ever will.

my name is david dobrik and i'm in love with my best friend.. she doesn't know that, well not yet. nor does she know that just a week and a half ago i was diagnosed with leukemia, more specifically chronic myelogenous leukemia.

it all began when my mother noticed i was frequently getting sick, always having a high fever, and i never seem to want to eat anymore - somewhere around a month ago.

the rare blood cancer literally makes me tired. i wish i could tell her how hard this is for me, but i don't like to talk like that.. it makes me feel more selfish than i already am.

"david! it's time to go!" my mother yells.

i slide on my shoes and hoodie.

it was time to go see the hematologist for the weekly chemo therapy. it was a disgusting treatment. i already hated it. you sit there for maybe a half hour while they pump the money making medication into your body.

i was no fan.

what sucked the most was if this treatment didn't work i would be pushed into radiation for the more aggressive leukemia i have.

i slowly walked down the stairs. i sighed stepping in front of my mom.

"i'm so sorry baby," she says placing her hand on my cheek. sure i had to go through the sickening disease, but if i died... the pain would stop for me, but for them... thinking of their grief puts a simple pain to my stomach like a stab in the chest.

shivers went up my spine from the thought. at least i knew people cared. i wouldn't be able to stand it if one of my friends or family members died, but i guess some people weren't like that.

she places her hand on my back pushing me forward out the door. this would be a normal tuesday, every week, for the rest of however long i will be sick. tomorrow i would be returning to school to see my friends and more importantly my best friend.

"david wait!" the little blonde boy hopped out the door, following along, and sprinting to me with his short stubby legs.

i crouched to get to his level. "hey buddy," i say, sort of weakly. he envelopes me in a hug with his small arms.

"i don't want you to go," he says.

"i'll be back in an hour and a half tops, i promise toby," i say releasing him from my own grasp.

"you promise?" he asks.

"i promise," i repeat and plaster a smile on my face for him.

a smile grows on the six year olds face.

"okay!" he says and runs off into the house.

my smile falls as i stand and walk to the passenger side of the minivan my mother had just got a few months back.

don't get me wrong, money was not a problem. i was.

...

"how are you today david?" the doctor asks.

"um.. fine i guess.. could be better," i answer.

"feeling fatigue, any new bruises?" he asks.

"kind of tired and weak," i answer truthfully.

"so no bruises, that's good. how have you been eating lately?"

"i.. i don't know, enough maybe," i say.