sick in love

she's forgetting me

"so have you figured out how you're gonna tell her?" gabbie asks.

"no gabbie and i am literally fucking being torn apart thinking about it!" i whisper, eagerly.

"i think you should make her talk to you," she says.

"you don't think i've tried?"

"maybe i can talk to her..." she suggests.

i sigh, "yeah, maybe... gabbie it's so hard when your favorite person won't even talk to you when you need them the most."

"i know," she gives me a hug before we part for classes. "i'll see you at lunch okay?"

"bye gabbie."

the only class we had was first period and that was computer sciences and programming, which we- well gabbie did absolutely nothing in, but mooched off of my work, which i didn't really care.

...

"liza can you please talk to me?"

it seemed like i just wasn't going to quit. i couldn't give up on her, i just wished she hadn't of given up on me.

she turns to me, giving me a stare that simply gave me chills.

"what do you want?" her tone made my heart freeze, she hated me. she absolutely hated me. there's no way she cared for me any longer.

nervously, i rub my wrist my bite my lip.

"weeks b-back you said i was- keeping secrets..."

"yeah and?"

oh she was so done with me.

"do you hate me?" i blurted in fear, speaking my thoughts.

"wha-what? i-" she was set back with my sudden out burst. "no, no, i don't... hate you. look david-" the bell cuts her off and yet again my chance has slipped between my fingers like sand.

"liza wait, you were right..." i say grabbing her wrist. "i've been keeping something from you," i mumble.

"david i'm sorry, i have to go," she pulls away.

"you don't understand! liza i- i need to tell you," i raised my voice, not so i was yelling but enough so she knew it was something serious. though she didn't know i was serious because she was already gone.

...

"she just blew you off?" gabbie asks.

"i told you, i've tried."

"try harder," she says.

"she hates me gabbie. she hates me."

"david shut the fuck up, she doesn't hate you," she counters.

"gabbie i asked her if she did and she fucking hesitated."

"is this about liza?" alex and colby sit.

i'm actually kind of glad colby was a new addition to the table, though he didn't dare to sit in liza's empty seat. he simply sat in one of the two- now three open seats. it was his seat now, between me and alex, sort of like he assigned it to himself.

"yes colby."

"you haven't came forward about anything?" he asks.

"i tried," i told colby, the dark haired boy.

he shined his blue eyes at me in confusion, suddenly fitting in with the whole group. they always shot me looks like this.

gabbie laughed, obviously paying attention.