Ok everybody. I'm gonna teach you how to survive a horror movie
Blues: Oh boy
Boss: Alright bro what do we do
Ok there are many rules to survive. You must follow these rules. First rule is never split up, ok this is an obvious one. You should never split up, it's a bad idea. Second rule, if it's a murder mystery and one of us could be the killer. Suspect the person you would least suspect. For example, we would all find Gheb the most suspicious. But the least suspicious would be...Marc!
Marc: But I wouldn't kill anybody.... unless it's Lucius
Lucius: Fuck you too
Deadkill: I don't think he swings that way Lucius
27: Not like that dumbass
Silence! Ok next rule, don't take anything from the dead because 1. It's Disrespectful and 2. The dead person is gonna haunt you. Also always check the back of your car, you never know when a knife wielding maniac who wears a William Shatner that's been painted white could appear and murder the shit outta you
Deadkill: What about having sex?
NO!!! That's one of the most important rules. Do not have sex. Sex is great and all, but it's not when you're in a horror movie ok? So no sex, keep it in your pants people
Boss: How about checking to see if the killer is dead
Don't do that, they always somehow survive the impossible. Another thing, don't trust clowns. Who here hates clowns?
*They all raise their hand*
Exactly. Nobody likes clowns. It may seem ridiculous and childish. It's certainly not when you see alot of clowns walking around and chasing you
Deadkill: I shot one
Good for you. You're doing a good thing to this world.
Well then. Hopefully this will help you all survive a horror movie. Now let's go commit murders *puts on a hockey mask*
Death out
