Kids in the Dark

Chapter 47

Adam's P.O.V

Something was off about Theo, to say the least. His temperament was so hit and miss that I felt like every conversation was balanced on a knife's edge. After about a week of unease related to my boyfriend, I took it upon myself to get some answers. Knowing Theo himself wasn't the best source of the truth I went to the first person that came to mind: Ryder. I found him chatting to Marc when I entered the yard, mentally noting that Theo wasn't anywhere to be seen. I made my way over, organizing the questions that buzzed around my brain.

"Hey, Ryder, can I speak to you ?" I asked earning me a look of confusion from the younger Hunt boy. "Privately." I specified. Ryder nodded and got to his feet.

"Sure, what is it?" He asked as the two of us made our way over to the other side of the bleacher.

"Theo," I said simply, and Ryder seemed to understand what I meant.

"You want to know what's going on don't you?" Ryder asked to which I responded with a nod. "Yeah, well, so do I." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Haven't you got any idea, you're the closest one to him." I was desperate for even a hint of an answer.

"How much do you know about Theo's mental health. Before all of this, I mean?" Ryder then asked, looking me directly in the eyes; I like talking to Ryder for that very reason, he, unlike most people, was willing to meet my gaze.

"I know about his self-harm. I also know he started again whilst you guys were on the run, but that's about it." I explained, knowing that what I knew, was only the tip of the iceberg.

"So you don't know about the depression or voices?" Ryder asked and I shook my head. "Well, at about 15 Theo was officially diagnosed as manic-depressive, which explains why he has such dramatic mood swings, but that isn't the end of it. He has these things he calls 'voices' and from what I can gather they seem to have some sort of control over him. It's like they kick in the moment things get too hard to process, all Theo has to do is sit back and let them run the show," Ryder began to explain. "I don't believe Theo's really with us most of the time anymore, but occasionally he fights it and comes back.

"I'd hoped to be back with you would have made some sort of positive improvement but I guess I was wrong there. He's still as volatile as ever." Ryder bit his lip as he finished, something I'd noticed him doing a lot recently.

"And so where is he right now?" I asked, wondering why for a second time Theo had vanished.

"Speaking to a phycologist." Ryder put air quotes around the word 'speaking' which made me raise a curious eyebrow. "Oh, you know what he's like," Ryder huffed. "I'm convinced he just sits there in silence and refuses all the help he's offered." Ryder elaborated.

"Should I maybe try and speak to him about it?" I then asked.

Ryder shrugged and said, "On your head be it." He too also seemed to understand just how hard it was trying to speak with the 'real' Theo.

"When did this all start. When'd he start acting like this?"

"Honestly, moments after our dad died," Ryder said in a flat voice.

"Did he, you know, really kill your dad?" I asked hoping to hear a no.

"I genuinely don't know. I think my dad ran into the knife but everything happened so quickly." Ryder sighed, letting his eyes fall to the floor.

"And how are you coping?" I then questioned, knowing everyone was so focused on Theo that Ryder and his issues seemed to go unnoticed. The boy just shrugged, eyes remaining glued to his feet. It took a few moments but eventually, he replied.

"I'm scared shitless." He said looking back up at me, his voice smaller than it would normally be. It was several moments before he elaborated. "I had to watch as my brother lost it. He had my dad's blood on his hands, on his clothes, even in his hair. He was smiling, Adam. Smiling as my dad died." He then turned away slightly before meeting my eyes once more. "My brother lost it and I don't have a clue in hell what to do." Ryder's voice sounded somewhat strained with emotion.

"And those nightmares you used to have?" I then asked, Theo, having once mentioned them to me.

"Used to have? They never stopped." Ryder let out a hollow laugh. "Do I look like I've been sleeping?" As he said this I took note of prominent dark circles framing his tired, bloodshot eyes.

"Is there anything that stops them?" I asked wanting ti help Ryder out.

"Nothing, if I wake up then go back to sleep it's normally okay, but other than that not much. The dog Theo mentioned, Tank, he was pretty good a waking me up before one started, but it's not like I can bring him here." Ryder once again ran a hand through his hair.

"Maybe not, but I'll speak to Dr. Harriet about it. I know a guy in block T has a therapy dog. I'm going to the clinic today, I'll ask her about it." I said with a smile.

"Thanks," Ryder said simply before asking, "why are you going to the clinic?"

"Oh, well, Harriet wants to make sure my eyebrows doing okay, she needs to take the stitches out anyway," I explained gesturing to the slit in my brow.

"How'd you-" Ryder started to ask but I cut him off.

"I got into a fight," I explained simply, swinging an arm over his shoulder. "Now, I'm not too good at this sappy stuff, but I'm always here for you to talk to, even if Theo isn't," I said ruffling his hair. Ryder let out a genuine laugh, trying to pull away from me.

"Get off." He whined which earned a laugh from me.

"Now," I said, ignoring his protests. "Let's get back to the others. I'm sure they're missing our company." With my arm still over his shoulders, I lead the way back over to Jace, Marc, and Charlie.

Chapter 47 done and dusted. The first chapter of 2018 so that's exciting. Hope you all enjoyed it and are looking forward to what is ahead.-Flo