Whats Wrong?

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Lately we've been doing this thing where cast members do an instagram takeover over the Newsies Instagram account and today is Ben's day.

"Hi guys, today you are stuck with me as i take you on a Ben Fankhauser newsies two show day"

"Lets hope he doe-" i try to add

"Wait, it just cut you off" ben says
"Okay now GO, what were you saying Al?" Ben asks as he records me.

"I was saying that lets hope you can do this, cause you JUST started using Instagram daily or tried at least"

Ben changes the camera so its recording him. "You young lady are very rude" he tries to make an offended voice.

"Can i give you my phone when im on stage so you can film some stuff for me?" He says while putting his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.

"Sure love"

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After seize the day and the persecution scene i film ben when he comes offstage.

"What are you feeling right now?"

"I have so much energy and im really sweaty!" He gives me a thumbs up and i upload the story.
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Now its time to stagedoor and i come out with my camera and ben.

As he opens the door he's with his phone and films more stuff for instagram.

"GUYS SAY HELLO TO THE NEWSIES INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT!!"

Everyone screams.

I take a photo of Ben taking a selfie with his phone and the fansies that i will later post with the caption "ben tried really hard today to give y'all so much content".

When we finish that, i go back to my dressing room and take my backpack with my laptop and exit the theater.

"Where are you going Al?" Ben catches me before i open the door.

"To starbucks. Im in need of caffeine. Do you want to join me? I could use some time to also edit more photos. Im not doing so well this week."

"Oh im sorry, i hope the inspiration comes back again. And yes, i'll join you" he smiles at me and we are on our way to the coffee shop.

When we get there i tell ben my order and give him money so i can find a place for us to sit as he buys our drinks.

Five minutes later he comes with the drinks and sits next to me.

"Whats wrong?"

"I just checked most of the photos that i took today and they are all horrible!" I scream out in frustration and cover my face with my hands cause i feel the tears coming.

"Hey hey hey its okay, look at me" he takes my hands in his hands. But i still dont look at him.

"Al look at me" i finally do.

"Breath with me okay, in and out, inhale exhale" i breath with him.

"It's totally okay to not do good sometimes, nobody is perfect. Your photos have been excellent since you first started working here. The fact that you are having a bad week doesn't discredit you for that. You are so talented. You are so responsible and take this so seriously sometimes i forget that you are only 20 years old." I laugh.

"Just relax a bit"

"Thank you ben, i needed that"

I didnt realize we were still holding hands until he started moving his thumb against my hand. I quickly let it go and brush away some of the tears I still had in my eyes.
I close my laptop. And take a sip out of my coffee. We chat a bit more until my phone buzzes, some random number is calling me.

"Hi?"

"Hi is this Mrs Alai?"

"Yeah...." i answer a little bit confused. Ben mouths at me "who is it?" "I dont know" i respond.

"This is Jenna from the MoMA committee" I open my mouth and start to excitedly slap Ben's arm.
"Five months ago you presented a portfolio of the work you wanted to showcase this year right?"

I try to not sound like im going to die "ye- yeah yeah, i mean Yes, i did."

"We wanted to inform you that it has been approved and the exhibition will be taking place in the winter time, more details will be talked out when we have a meeting. Congratulations mis and wait for an email in the next few days with more info"

at this point im already a mess and ben is looking at me like im really crazy.

"Thank you so much this means the world to me"

"You earned it, good evening "

"Good evening to you too"

I finish the phone call and ben asks me what was all that.

"Im having my work shown at the MoMA" i whisper, not believing it myself, he didn't hear me so I repeat it.

"They approved it, tHEY APPROVED MY PORTFOLIO. IM HAVING MY OWN EXHIBITION AT THE MOMA BEN"

"OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS YOU DESERVE IT!" He hugs me and i hug him really tight. I don't want this moment to end. It feels right.
And suddenly i feel it, fuck fuck fuck fuck.  I like him. I like Ben Fankhauser.

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