x and y {a Dear Evan Hansen one-shot collection}

only us {Evan x Zoe}

Preview: ❛"I never thought that someone like you would want me," Evan's words tumble off of his tongue without his control.

        Her lips slant upwards. "Well?"

        "So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go." ❜

(This fic was requested by Onllyus on Archive of Our Own who wanted me to write a 'novelisation' you might say, of the Only Us scene and song. I edited some of the lyrics so they'd have a better flow with dialogue and made a few adaptions. This was so much fun to write!

It's been a while since I've updated and I'm so sorry about that. This is a really busy time of year and I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately. Writing is extremely therapeutic so I'm really glad to be writing and updating again. As always, thank you all for your comments and support. I love you all so much! Xx)

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"I was his best friend." Best friend. The words burn like acid in Evan's throat. Unworthy of the title of best friend to a boy he hardly knew, he wonders what Connor would do or say if he heard Evan say that now. If there were way for Connor to see what has unravelled rapidly, would he curse insults at Evan or somewhere understand?

Dwelling on this is something that Evan has taught out of himself. If he pauses long enough to consider what's really happening, he'll be struck as if the realisation is made of electricity.

Pushing forward, pushing down the thoughts that threaten to spill over, Evan adds, "And you are his sister. Think of how we'd look to everyone else."

Zoe runs her tongue over her lips, an odd expression slipping onto her features. Longing, perhaps. And something else, something buried that surfaces just enough for Evan to see. He averts his eyes, reeling from the expression. "So...when can we be more that?"

Standing still, he keeps his eyes directed toward the carpet and says nothing.

Searching, as if scanning through dozens of sentences that have accumulated inside of her, Zoe continues and chooses her words with specific care, "The thing is, everything has always been about Connor in my life. Everything's always about him. The whole world was made for Connor, the universe stops for Connor." Her jaw tenses as she swallows. "I guess I want something for me this time. The emails, the orchard, Connor...I just don't want our relationship to be about that. I just want—"

As her sentence breaks, Evan dares to look her in the eyes. There's vulnerability in her gaze, shining in her eyes.

"I just want you."

The floor drops under Evan's feet; he sways slightly and can feel his lips part to say something, anything. The constricting band around his chest throbs as he inhales deeply. "Me?"

"Yeah." A small smile. "You."

Closing off the proximity between them, her outline frames his. Misinterpreting his stunned silence as insecurity, her fingertips toy with the front of his cotton hoodie. Her hands are sinfully light; he feels their warm pressure through the decidedly thin material.

Tell her, tell her the truth. Do it now —

"You don't have to sell me on any reasons to want you, Evan. You're enough."

You're enough. Her words radiate through him.

"What we have right now is good," she goes on, "I don't need to be reminded of everything that's happened. I don't want to be reminded and I don't need you to fix it for me. We can just...clear the slate. You and I can just start over." There's more earnestness in her voice, almost assimilating a plea. Lifting his eyes to meet her's, her soft lips curve upwards. Reaching towards him, pressing her smooth palm against his cheek, she says, "And I'll help you quiet all your anxieties. We can't compete with all that."