Christabel's guide to necromancy and world domination

What is happening in this forest?

I groaned, rolled on my back, and tried to make a quick recap of my situation while staring at the trees above me. Then I had a moment of panic, jumped up, and decided that the quick recap could wait until I was not in the middle of a forest of crazy killer trees.

They were large, majestic oaks, their green leaves storming quietly under a slight breeze. Except I could not feel any breeze on my face, so I had a strong suspicion they were whispering how much they wanted to kill me. There was silence, no whistling birds or other small animals rustling in the carpet of leaves and roots. I did not think that was a positive sign.

" Great. Just great.", I grumbled, looking for a way to escape. The annoying flying idiot, and almost certainly serial killer, that had dropped me there was nowhere to be seen. All I knew was that we had been flying away from the dwarves' mountain, and that going back there was my best option, but I had honestly no idea which direction I was supposed to walk in. Or how far away I was from the borders. Or how much time I had before the trees started trying to kill me. Or if the undead elves that had already tried to sacrifice me in a magical ritual once were still around and knife-happy.

Okay, Chris, calm down. You went camping once or twice, right?

I learned about this stuff. Well, kind of. I watched movie characters do it, anyway, that is the same thing. I was supposed to use the moss on trees to find the North... except I did not know if I was supposed to go north, or if moss on killer trees worked in the same way, so screw that. I was going to start walking in a random direction that looked kind of promising, and fervently hope in the Power of Destiny or whatever.

And whatever you do, do NOT think about Evil Dead. Great movie, bad trees.

Half an hour later, or something that my unreliable time sense considered half an hour, I was still lost in a freaking forest, feeling watched and helpless, but at least the trees had not moved.Maybe, and it was a big maybe, they just moved at night, and it was still morning, so I had some time. Assuming I was going in the right direction. And the forest was not too large. Which I would probably know if I had been brave enough to peek down from the mountain and get a sense of the landscape surrounding it. This was why most fantasy heroines did not have a crippling fear of heights.

I noticed that something was changing in the forest around me, and I stopped. Yeah, I was not having hallucinations caused by coffee withdrawal, there was a difference. The trees surrounding me were still majestic oaks, but their leaves were not moving any more, breeze or not, and the disposition was... weird. The pattern was too regular, perfectly horizontal lines where there should have been nothing of the sort. At least I thought so. I am not an expert in forests, okay?

Now that I had started paying more attention, the weirdness was even more obvious. The sounds, for example. There were birds chirping, which I was sure I had not heard earlier. So, either I was getting closer to a living, ideally safer area of the forest... or not. There was a sweet smell, something like jasmine and cinnamon, but I could not see any flowers. I could spot the sky above the trees, and it was blue, like it was supposed to be, but the sun was nowhere to be seen, and the light came the same way from all directions.

It was all a little too surreal, like someone had painted a forest, their idea of a forest, without bothering with realism. It was unnerving. And yet, actually, it was not... it was... oddly...soothing? I yawned, feeling my eyelids heavy. I was getting tired. Really, I felt like I had walked for far more than half an hour. Maybe I could relax for a while.

Or maybe I could not. I shook my head and pinched my arm as hard as I could. The small pang of pain helped cleaning my head a bit, just enough to realize that sudden exhaustion was not normal. I had seen enough movies and read enough books to know that you never, ever,ever lay down to sleep in an enchanted forest. Especially one that feels so... relaxing...

Agh! Keep it together, girl! Another pinch, another jolt of awareness. I turned back in the direction where I came from, I would rather take my chances with the killer trees where I was awake enough to run as fast as I could.

There was nothing. I stood there for a second, staring at the silvery mist that hid everything. There had not been any mist when I had arrived, and there was no way it was natural. I mean, it was literally glittery.

I tried to take a step towards the mist, and I had to stop. It was like hitting a soft, warm wall of marshmallows, or jelly. There was no way I could go through it.

My only choice was going forward. And yes, the situation just screamed trap. And cliche too, but that is almost a given. Like the amazing and idiot fantasy heroine that place was forcing me to be, I started walking again, pinching myself every few steps to keep me awake. I was going to have so many bruises, like the ones I already had were not enough. If I found whoever was responsible for that situation, I was going to pinch them so hard they would have bruises for weeks, just to make them know how I was feeling.

The more I walked, the stronger the smell and the chirping became, and the more surreal the forest. The trees were just silhouettes, brown and green, their leaves undistinguished like a child's drawing. The ground was an uniform carpet of green and brown spots, but I could not even feel the leaves crunching under my feet anymore, it was just that. A carpet.

Hey, maybe I was not in a book or ina movie. Maybe I was in a comic book and the illustrator had decided that if the writer did not bother making a decent story, why should they bother with the art? So very unprofessional of them. My comic book was going to get discontinued very soon if they kept at it. I did not want to be discontinued! At least not before getting a crossover with Deadpool!

Another step, another yawn, another pinch. I stumbled on my own feet and barely managed to keep my balance. Walking was getting difficult, and everything was blurry. I forced my eyes open and stumbled forward. Just another step. Just another step.

And then I lost consciousness, and the last thing I felt was the ground meeting my face, soft like a pillow. I had not even enough energy to think about how screwed I was.

***

Author's note

Hi there! Thank you for reading. I would really appreciate any vote, comment or constructive criticism!