Supernatural Imagines

Dean Winchester Imagine: She is the Sunlight

Dean Winchester Imagine - She is the Sunlight

-Trigger warning-

You'd had to excuse yourself from Deans company last night, or you were sure all your unwanted memories would resurface and drag you down into an undefinably difficult hole to climb back out of. Showing him how vulnerable you were was definitely not a good idea. The look of utter concern that had taken over his features however made you feel reassured that he would be the person to talk to about it. You had kept it all bottled up for so long now. Maybe telling someone else would help subsidise the pain.
Checking your watch, and letting out a soft sigh of discontent you realised you'd been sat wallowing in self pity for over two hours. When you dragged yourself from the depths of the duvet covers and peeked around the wooden door, it became clear that no one else was awake.

You considered checking your phone, but who was there to miss you? No one cared when you'd gone missing before, so why should they care now. It was better this way. Maybe the Winchesters would drop you off someplace far away and you could get a normal job, and try to begin again. A tiny part of you wished desperately that they would take you under their wing, and try to train you up to be a better hunter like they were.

You noticed that your phone on the desk was buzzing almost violently and your mind began screaming out the worst scenario possible, it began consuming you immediately. With a shaking hand you turned it over, when you read the number flashing on the screen a numbing feeling took over you and with a quick movement of your wrist the phone landed with a loud thud on the wooden floor. How the hell had they got your number?

Stumbling into the bathroom and locking the door your breathing now ragged and forced, you retrieved a silver blade from the pocket of your pyjamas, hating yourself that it was still there. Almost mocking you with its very presence. You slumped to the floor, all the negative thoughts gathering up speed and power seemed unstoppable. "Stop it! Leave me alone!" A strangled cry left your wavering lips and you began cutting deep gashes in your thighs with the blade, ripping your pyjamas in the process. "Stupid. Worthless. Fat piece of nothing." You chanted, spitting out each word like venom, hot tears streaming down your face because of the utter pain that was more mental than physical.

Outside Dean and Sam were knocking vigorously on the door, having heard your harsh words and sobs of hurt. "Y/N please let us in! Y/N are you okay?" Sams tone was urgent and soulful, almost begging you not to hurt yourself further. "I can't..." You gasped, the amount of blood you'd lost was taking it's toll. Managing to gather up at the last of your strength, and dragging yourself away from the door you reluctantly let them in.

You were slipping in and out of consciousness and were unable to see the look of complete terror on Dean's face, "I ain't losing no one else." He breathed heavily, brushing his hand across your cheek. "I can't even kill myself without messing up." was the last thing you said before the darkness came.

The soft, gentle touch of someone rubbing soothing circles on your forearm was the first thing you became aware of, and the hushed whispers of Dean singing 'Hey Jude' with his lips pressed to your shoulder. The utter serenity of the scene was something you'd never experienced before, and it breathed hope into you that you never knew existed in this dark and cruel world.

Your eyes fluttered open and you pressed your form closer to Dean, who stopped humming abruptly and smiled apologetically. "How are you sweet cheeks?" you chewed the inside of your lip in response, and just like that Dean understood. He always had no problem reading your emotions, most of the time better than you ever could. Not making eye contact with you, like he was scared you'd shy away, Dean outstretched his hand and took yours tenderly, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "God, you know how bad I am at all this touchy feely stuff but er... Damn it Y/N I need you to know I'm here for you. Whenever you need to talk, I got your back okay? I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier, then maybe... Um look you mean a hell of a lot to me and Sammy, losing you would kill us. If it's some son of a bitch from your past tormenting you then god help him he won't live to regret it." Dean's eyes were now shining with tears and you knew right then that this was your reason for living. This man right here. He had broken free from his own shackles of affliction and carried on. He had saved countless others without worrying about the consequences it might have on him.

A love so sharp it pierced your very being exposed itself fully now, all feeling of regret, anguish and hurt vanished when you saw the glitter of hope emerge in his face. "I love you Dean." you managed to murmur. Dean smiled and nodded, "You too sweet cheeks, you too." after the sentence tumbled from his lips, Dean wrapped you in a tight embrace, peppering small kisses over your cheek, eyelashes and forehead. "Remember I got your back Y/N."