Shine Seoul City Lights~ A BTS Encounter

Don't Forget

Author's Note:  Hehe I know that my chapters are getting kinda boring... Sorry!  I'm starting to study for finals, which is taking up a ton of my writing time, and I'm still coming up with ideas for the book!  I have a few surprises coming up in the next few chapters that you can look forwards to  ;).  Anyways, enjoy!  I'll try to update again soon!

We walked back into the building. Jungkook would not let me go back into my room until I went into the kitchen and ate. The rest of Bangtan were all sitting around the dining table and talking in hushed voices. When Jungkook oppa and I walked in, six heads all turned in unison to look at us. My face muscles felt stiff, so I didn't smile or anything. I bowed a little and then walked to Hoseok oppa.

"Mianhaeyo." (I'm sorry.) I said quietly. "Jinjja, jinjja mianhaeyo." (I'm really, really sorry.) I lowered my head, a feeling of shame spreading through me. "I wasn't thinking."

Hoseok oppa accepted my apology. He probably understood that I was half out of my mind. Probably. Jin oppa made a broth with rice and soft meat for me, and I forced myself to eat it, thinking of what Liz would say if she saw me starving myself. It was about 10:00, but I wasn't sleepy. The food hadn't filled me up either, it had just gone into me. Manager Nim came to the kitchen to speak with me, and the rest of Bangtan were filing out.

We sat in silence for a while and then Manager Nim spoke up. "I'm really sorry for your loss," he said quietly. "Do you need anything?"

I shook my head, and there was more silence.

"You are almost 18 now, but it is up to your family to decide where you go. You aunt is willing to talk to you and ask what you want to do. At the mention of my aunt I felt a flash of anger. Her.

"You can stay in Korea for another week after the 24th, but you have to make a decision after then. Do you know what options you have?"

I nodded slowly. "Namjoon oppa spoke to me of what you were offering."

Manager Nim looked at me for a while, before getting up. "Let Bangtan help you." he said. "They are no longer only your teachers. Each of them have grown close to you, and they care for you as if you were their younger sister. If you need anything, you have my contact information. Just remember that you have seven brothers that will help you."

I nodded at him, too tired to give him a proper smile, and then bowed as he left. I went back to my room and changed into some pajamas. Someone had brought my laundry from before the concert and put it in a bag in the corner of my room. I went on my phone again and looked through all of the pictures of my family. I would remember every single second of my time with them. I could not forget anything.

Three days passed like this: me sitting for hours in the darkness of my room; just thinking. Willing myself not to forget anything. I relived every moment, determined to make sure that it was all there. I was halfway in between understanding that my family was dead, and halfway between denying it. It was torture. I was thousands of miles away from home... except was it home without my family?

I thought of the rooms in my house, littered with books and earbuds and sheets of music. Would I be able to keep my home now that my family was gone? I'd lived in that house for my entire life. Seventeen years. Everything I owned was there. Every memory. The wall near my desk had pictures of my family and friends taped to the wall, along with my favorite quotes that I'd built my life around. There were shelves of albums in my parents' room. I needed those. I needed to be able to look through every single photo and just remember. I couldn't forget.

I didn't eat often, only when someone forced me out of my room, put food in front of my face, and chopsticks in my hands. I would put the food in my mouth and swallow it. I didn't come out of my room until someone personally came to me and took my arm to bring me outside. I would stand there fore a few minutes and then insist that I go back inside. The sun was just too bright for me. People tried to talk to me, but I didn't have the energy to respond. I'd lost sense of everything.