Shine Seoul City Lights~ A BTS Encounter

Breathe

Knock, knock, knock. I opened my eyes. My cheek was stuck to the plastic of the table, and I peeled it off. The plastic table had left a red mark on my left cheek. Knock, knock, knock. I got up painfully to open the door. Hoseok oppa was standing in the doorway. I bowed at him a little. He was smiling, but it looked a little forced.

"Emma-ya!" He said loudly, and I flinched. "Let's go for a walk okay?"

It took a moment for his words to process, and I shook my head. "Shiteoyo." (I don't want to.)

Hoseok oppa's smile faltered a little, but he hitched it right back on and then switched to a pouty aegyo face. "Wae?" (Why?) "Does Emma-ya not like me anymore?"

An irrational surge of anger surged through me. Why was Hoseok oppa here? I didn't want to be bothered. I just wanted to be left alone in the silence to think. I needed to do a lot of thinking right now. And here Hoseok oppa was, doing aegyo and trying to get me to go outside.

"I don't want to go anywhere with you." I snapped, and then immediately regretted it.

Hoseok oppa's face changed as he realized that I wasn't joking. The change in his expression made me feel guilty, but I didn't have the patience to be spoken to. My pool of patience had already evaporated. I wanted to turn off all the lights and lie in silence and darkness. I was about to say something; to apologize, but for some reason I closed the door. Just like that. In his face.

I crossed the room and closed the shades on the windows. I switched off the lights and sat leaning against the hard wall next to the door. The silence and darkness was comforting. I just wanted to sit there forever and listen to the sound of my own breathing. My brain was usually working at a million thoughts a second, but now it was slowed down. I wasn't thinking about anything. Just darkness. And silence. And yet I'd never felt so much turmoil in my entire life. I couldn't find the words to describe my emotions.

I probably sat there for hours. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up when someone else knocked on the door. The knob was right next to me; I could have reached it easily, but I didn't want to move. I hadn't even shifted once, and my butt had become numb. My back was stiff from sitting up against the wall for so long. Both of my legs had fallen asleep from being tucked up against my body. But the knocking didn't stop. The sudden noise after so much silence felt like sitting in front of a drumset at a rock concert.

When I didn't answer, someone opened up the door, casting a rectangle of bright light across my shoes. I shut my eyes and dropped my head as if I was asleep. If I pretended, maybe they'd go away. I didn't hear anything for a few moments, but the door remained open, so I knew that someone was there. I heard them move over and felt a small whoosh of air as they walked past me. This was a very uncomfortable way to sit, and my neck was starting to hurt. I heard some more movement, and realized that they had squatted down next to me. A hand touched my arm gently, picking it up and turning it over to expose my bandaged forearm. Then their hand touched the side of my face, and I did my best not to flinch.

"Emma-ya, that's an uncomfortable way to sleep." A deep voice murmured softly.

I recognized it immediately. Jungkook oppa. The hand on the side of my face lifted my head up so that my neck was straightened. I felt an arm slide underneath my knees and another slide under my back. Suddenly I was in the air. I forced myself to remain limp. Jungkook oppa had lifted me, and was carrying me somewhere. After a few seconds the mattress press against my back. I originally wanted to be alone, but this tender act almost brought me to tears again. One slide down the side of my face and into my hairline. With luck Jungkook wouldn't notice...