Loud Music

Just in For The Night

16

Just in for the night

Justin is coming over at dinner tonight. My mom really wanted to meet him. I mean, I'm sort of dating him. Kind of.

I wish this was Ryan at diner tonight. I just have to get through tonight. I wish things weren't this way. I wish Ryan would return my calls. I wish my parents knew about Ryan. I wish... Wishes aren't reality though. This is reality; I'm going to have diner with my fake boyfriend. I don't even like putting the word 'fake' in front of boyfriend to describe Justin. It doesn't make me feel better. He's a good guy, but I wish he would un-love me.

There was a knock at the door. I went to open it, and it was Justin. He kissed me on the cheek."I brought wine." Justin held it up.

"I'm going to need this." I took it out of his hand, and started to walk away. He pulled my arm for me to stay.

"Can we talk about things? In private?" Justin asked.

"Fine." I pulled Justin into the study, and locked the door.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

"Ian left the band, and Ryan is always in California these days. We're a bass player short. I don't know if we can put out the record anytime soon." I explained. That wasn't the real reason why I was in a foul mood. I haven't even worked on the album with the guys.

"What's the real reason?" He asked.

"I love Ryan. You kissed me, and it felt like I was cheating," I whispered.

"Well, I love you," Justin held my hand.

"I can't," I whispered.

"You can tonight," he smiled.

"Let's just get this over with," I shook my head. I walked out with a fake smile, and a bottle of wine.

My parents where setting up the table. "Sit down guys," My dad said pointing to the chairs in front of them.

We sat next to each other, and we said blessing over the food. We started eating.

"So are you guys going public?" My mom asked.

"No. We want to keep it to ourselves for now," I explained. I took a sip of wine. I felt Justin's hand on mine under the table, and I drank more.

"Smart," My mom said. She's always thinking of these things because she's in the entertainment industry. So is my dad, but my mom is more about what the public will think of people. This is why for the longest time she wanted me to marry a lawyer. She would die of happiness if I did. I wish she wasn't like this.

"Let loose a little. You're making it obvious," Justin whispered to me.

He was right. I should just let go for the night. Just for the night. I can do this. I can pretend. The rest of the dinner went smoothly. My parents actually like him. I think they'd like Ryan more. No. I need to let go. I need to show my parents that I'm with Justin. I just miss Ryan.

After dinner Justin and I went up to my room. I could feel that my blood was all wine at this point. I had far too many glasses of wine. "This is my room," I said closing the door.

"It's nice," He smiled to himself.

"Just for tonight," I said to him.

"What?" He asked.

I put my hand on his neck, and kissed him. He kissed back. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've drank way too much. Why am I kissing him?! I pulled back thinking of Ryan. I can't do this! I looked at my phone and saw that Ryan still hasn't replied to me. I put my phone back in my pocket. I felt kind of sad.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you do that," Justin said.

"Fuck it. Shut up and kiss me," I pulled him in for another kiss. I'm so mad at Ryan. He hasn't called me in a few days now. I think he hates me. I'm so angry! I held Justin closer to me, and kissed him harder. My mind went blank.