Loud Music

The Truth -26

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." ~Buddha

I've still haven't told Ryan that Harry kissed me. I'm too afraid. Everything is going so well. I don't want to mess things up.

There was a text from Harry. I looked over at Ryan sleeping. I looked back at my phone, and looked at Harry's text. It said, "Can we meet up?" I replied with a yes. I mean, I can still be friends with him? A nice little chat won't hurt anything. I put my phone on my pillow, and went to the shower.

I got out of the shower, and saw Ryan looking gloom. His eyes where to his phone, and it was as if he didn't hear me come in. "You okay, Ryan?" I asked.

"Does he know about what, Sara?" Ryan handed me my phone, and walked out the door.

I walked after him. I yelled, "It's not what you think!"

"Then what is it?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing," I said simply. I really didn't want to tell him. But at the same time, it was eating me alive.

"So what? Just a little infatuation with Harry Styles? Tell me he means nothing to you," Ryan clinched his hands into fists.

"Ryan," I sighed. He knows I love him and only him.

"Tell me!"

I took a deep breath, and said, "Harry kissed me the other day when Kendall was over, and that was it. I didn't kiss back. I told him that all that time with him was nothing" I said.

"You two kissed? What else have you been keeping from me?!" Ryan yelled.

"Harry and I dated for a year," I confessed.

"You two what?!" I could tell Ryan was about to cry. I had hurt him. I could see it in his eyes. They were full of pain that I put there.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want you to worry!" I cried out.

"What made you think that was okay?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ryan got closer to my face.

"Okay. Fine. You want to know why I'm so fucking messed up?!" I asked. "You want to know every single fucking thing about me?!"

"Yes," He hissed.

"Fine," I took a deep breath. I haven't even talked about this to my parents. They know, but I've never talked about it. "A few years ago I was at a Green Day concert, back when they where still good, with my big brother Fred. He got out of Chemo treatment for the night to go with me." I began.

"You had a brother?" Ryan asked calmly. his eyes were still full of rage.

"Yeah," I sat on the sofa. "We where driving back home blasting Green Day on the stereo, and then there was this drunk driver behind an eighteen wheeler. The headlights got closer and closer to my brother and I. I woke up in the hospital a few days latter. Turned out I was in a coma, and had minor injuries," I felt a tear roll down my check. I took a deep breath, but it was no use. A few tears had escaped from my eyes. "I remember asking everyone where Fred was, but they just gave me this look. I didn't understand at the time, until my dad told me that my brother had died," I busted out crying. I felt Ryan's hand on my back. "I blame myself sometimes," I admitted as I was blubbering. "I wish he was still here," I whispered.

Ryan held me closer to him, and I could tell that I was forgiven, and that he understood. He pulled me into his lap, and I just cried there. I've never told anyone about that. Not even Stormie. Stormie knows, but I never talked to her about it. Ryan is the first. I just trust him. In some ways he reminds me of Fred. I like that about Ryan. It's like a part of Fred lives within Ryan. I felt Ryan stroke my hair, and tried to calm me.

"I understand you want to make more friends, but I would feel better if it wasn't with Harry. He was your first and all, but if that's what you really want..." Ryan looked down at me, and looked me in the eyes. "I'm okay with that. I'm sorry for over reacting. I know you love me, and I know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me on purpose. I'm sorry,"

"No I'm sorry. I should have told you," I tried not to cry.

"It's okay. I love you, and nothing will change that. I care for you so much, and I never want to loose you. I love you," Ryan stoked my eyebrows like my mom used to do when I was a kid.

My eyes slowly started to close, but I managed to say "I love you too," before I shut my eyes.

。。。

Finally got to know about Sara's brother! This chapter was a roller coaster, I know, but I hoped you liked it.

Since Sara is telling the truth, I though I would too. I might not update as much... My sister is in a metal hospital after saying she was going to kill herself. so I'm kinda yeah... also having boy troubles... I miss feeling that felling. I will try my best to update for you. You're the light at the end in this maddening tunnel.

Feedback always helps me keep going by the way. Thanks for reading this ♡