Naglalakad ako sa loob ng mall ng nakangiti. Last night was a good night and today is such a good day. May mga taong nagtitinginan sa'kin dahil sa sugat ko pero siguro'y masasanay rin ako hanggang sa gumaling 'to.
Saktong napatingin ako sa relo ko nang may mabangga ako.
"Ow," mahinang sabi nito. Nagkatinginan agad kami at para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang makita si Sahara.
"Don't you ever, talk to her again, Vandrei."
"V-Van..."
Hindi ko na inindang nagkabanggaan kami, o kung hindi man siya tumitingin sa nilalakaran niya. Basta nalang ako dumiretso ng lakad na parang hindi siya nakita.
Nang makaraan ang ilang segundo ay naramdaman kong sumusunod siya sa'kin. Binilisan ko pa ang paglalakad at nang pumasok ako sa isang boutique ay nagulat ako nang nasa harap ko na siya.
"Van, galit ka ba?" Tanong niya. Hindi ako umimik at tumalikod nalang ulit nang hilahin niya ako sa braso para iharap muli sa kanya.
"Van, please. Galit ka ba?"
"Siya, hindi. Pero ako, oo." Pareho kaming napalingon kay Hera na may hawak na dalawang hanger ng damit habang nakangiti ng sarkastiko kay Sahara.
"Can you hold this for me?" Sabay abot niya sa'kin ng hawak niya. Tahimik akong napalunok at kinuha na lamang ang inaabot niya. Umatras ako dahil ayokong isipin niyang magkasama kami ni Sahara o kinakausap ko siya.
"H-Hera. . ." Bulong nito. Akmang tatalikod na nang hablutin ni Hera ang braso niya. Napalunok nalang ako ng madiin nang makitang baon sa balat ni Sahara ang mahaba't kinulayang itim na kuko ni Hera.
"Alam mo kasi ikaw, nang-gigigil na 'ko sa'yo, e. Nakakailan ka na, e." Nakangiti niyang sabi. Mababakas sa mukha ni Sahara ang takot.
"H-Hera, it's not what you think it is." Mahinang tugon ni Sahara. "Please. . .not here."
Nilingon ni Hera ang paligid. May mangilan-ngilang taong napapatingin sa direksiyon namin.
"Babe, let's go." Yakag ko sa kan'ya. "I don't want us to get in trouble just for a petty reason."
Lumingon siya sa'kin at muli ay kay Sahara. "The next time I see you again, hindi na ako mangingiming kaladkarin ka sa harap ng maraming tao. You deserve to be fucking humiliated for what you did to me."
I looked at Sahara, trying not to be sympathetic.
God. I pity her. I feel sorry for her. She didn't deserve this. But I can't do anything about it.
I don't wanna lose Hera.
Not again.
"What was that?" Tanong niya sa akin habang binabagtas namin ang daan papunta sa kan'yang condo. We decided to take a cab instead of asking her driver to take us home. Ayaw niyang makarating pa sa kan'yang ama ang pangyayari.
"I happen to stumble upon her. Nothing more."
Napahalukipkip siya. "Hah. What a coincidence. Do you really think I'd believe that?"
I just stared at her. Unbelievable.
Mas pinili ko na lamang manahimik upang hindi na humaba pa. But she just can't seem to understand that.
"So, you're just gonna ignore me after what you did? My god, Vandrei ikaw pa may ganang ganyanin ako after what you fucking did." She laughed sarcastically.
"You've already decided. So what's the point? Hahaba lang 'yong usapan. Wala namang sense." Lumingon ako sa labas ng bintana. "If you don't wanna believe me, then alright. If you think I intentionally met up with her, so be it. I'm so done with this thing."
"Sana gano'n lang kadaling mag-let go, 'di ba? Sana gano'n lang." I can hear the pain in every word that she uttered and it silenced me.
"You don't understand it. I was hurt because she was my bestfriend." I glanced at her. She was already sobbing. "I loved you both. And you both betrayed me."
"When I told her to take care of you, hindi ko sinabing gustuhin ka niya. I told her that because I know how lonely you can get. I know that you need her more than I do. She's the only person you can comfortably open up with other than me. Pero putangina, pati 'yong gustuhin ka pa? Ang kapal na ng mukha niya." Harshly wiping her tears.
"When will you ever listen, Hera?" I didn't even bother to hide my annoyance. "Paikot-ikot na lang tayo palagi every time na pinag-uusapan natin, 'to? Kailan ka ba makikinig?"
"She doesn't deserve what you did. Kung mayro'n man dapat makatanggap ng lahat ng galit mo, ako 'yon. She wanted to stay away, okay? But I asked her not to. I told her that it's okay. She doesn't deserve all of this." She just stared blankly at me.
"You chose to defend her than my pain?"
"This is hopeless." I sighed. "Manong, can you please pull over? I'll just walk from here."
Agad namang itinabi ng driver ang taxi. Nag-abot na lamang ako ng isang libo rito bago bumaba.
"I can pay for myself." Malamig na tugon niya. Di na ako nag-abala pang sumagot.
"Drive safe, manong. Take care of her. Thank you."
Malayo pa ito sa bahay ko ngunit mas pinili ko na lamang maglakad. Kailangan kong mag-isip. Kailangan kong makahinga. Ngayon lang naging sobrang suffocating ng relasyon namin ni Hera.
Don't get me wrong. I am not invalidating her feelings. I perfectly understand that she's hurting. All I am saying is that Sahara isn't the one to take all the blame. It's not her fault. It is mine. Na ang dapat nakakatanggap ng lahat ng humiliation at masasakit na salita ay ako.
Matapos kong magmuni-muni ay napagdesisyunan kong tumuloy na lamang sa bahay ni Hera. We need to patch things up bago pa lumaki. I know I acted like a jerk awhile ago.
Nang may madaanan akong flowershop ay napagpasyahan kong bumili ng bulaklak. Sunflower and rose bouquet. Her favorites.
"I'm sorry." Agad na bungad ko nang pagbuksan niya ako ng pinto. She just hugged me tight.
I closed the door behind me and hugged her back.
"Baby, I'm sorry. I acted like a total asshole earlier and I am sorry for that." I handed her the flowers. "Please, forgive me?"
Inamoy niya ito at bahagyang ngumiti. "I don't accept bribes. Nagiging sakit kita sa ulo lately and I think I deserve more."
"Really?" I circled my index finger on her exposed back. She's wearing nothing but a sports bra and a cycling shorts.
"I was about to do my yoga but a good-looking asshole knocked and disturbed me."
"You don't need yoga anymore. You can be as flexible as you do in yoga with sex. It's just the same." I said as I try to kiss her on her neck.
She slowly slid her hands inside my pants. "H'wag mo akong dinidemonyo, Vandrei. Mas demonyo ako sa'yo."
"Let's see." I smirked as I rip her bra.
"You idiot." She sexily laughed while I hungrily stared at her body.
Mine.
