crybaby- Lil Peep fanfiction

chapter 2

zoey i stg if you're reading this and you BULLY ME because of it you finna catch these hands 

ok guyssssss. sorry it took like a week to update, it usually wont take that long. i have to go to my dad's house every other weekend, so i couldn't really update while i was there IM SORRY. this story is sotra weird and slow but ya know, we are just gonna deal with it.

zoey. ZMACATTACK. this is your LAST CHANCE TO LEAVE.

also we skipped ahead two weeks. bianca has been visiting gus almost every day. nothing significant has happened yet but truss meee thats finna change 

gus pov

1:10 AM

gus: if you wanna come over you can

bianca: sounds like a gr8 time

gus: if im never not out by the time you get there its fine

bianca: are you not gonna be there today?

gus: no im just saying

bianca: ok 

why did i have to be so awkward? it was such a dumb thing to do 'if im ever not out blablabla'. i wanted her to know, but i seriously couldnt have worded it differently? 

dumbass. she probably wont even show. she has no idea how much that matters. she hates you. everyone hates you. even your DOG hates you. she is just trying to be nice. save yourself a shred of dignity. dont beg her to come over. you're so stupid. no wonder you have no friends.

 i roll up a couple blunts and get ready to climb up to the roof. do it. i see three xans sitting on the shelf. swallow them. they feel dry against the back of my throat. i climb out of the window and onto the roof. as soon as i get situated, i see bianca strolling down the road. she climbs up and sits next to me. "i hate it when you sit like that," she says. "how come?" "im afraid you're gonna fall," "what does it matter if i fall?" too much, now she thinks you're insane. her breath catches a little bit. "im sorry, i just-" "no you're alright. its ok. you didnt do anything," why did she seem so concerned? i watch my legs swing over the edge of the roof. i feel her watching me. probably to find something to criticize. "when did you first get your tattoos?" i smile a little bit. "i got this little scene three years ago, when i was 14. it's my mom's name so she wouldn't get too pissed," "it's sick," "ya think?" "you don't?" "i love it, but usually when people see it they just assume that i'm in a gang or something," my speech slurs a little. she squints at me. "gus, are you ok?" she asks. "do you want me to lie?" i write that down in my notebook full of lyrics that havent been strung together. "no. i don't want you to lie." i spark a blunt and inhale before passing it to her. "im not okaaaaayyy," i sing quietly (HAHA I HAD TOOOOOOO) "you wear me ouuuutt" i hear bianca finish. a small smile spreads across my face. bianca takes two puffs. her hair shines in the light of the stars. she passes the blunt back to me. 

bianca pov

after passing gus the weed, i get a text.

brooke: yo

bianca: hey

brooke: are you busy

bianca: sorta

brooke: omg wait actually

brooke: AHAHAHA you have more friends then meeee

bianca: than

brooke: ?

bianca: you have more friends than me

bianca: gtg

bianca: ttyl

"sorry," i say, feeling guilty for sitting on my phone while gus and i hang out. "no, you're fine," he says, words slurring.  "what did you take?" i ask. too much. too soon. you've known him for two weeks. idiot. you haaaaave to go and ruin everything, don't you. you're so fucking stupid. can you do anything right? it isn't your life, stop prying. "just three xans," gus answers, giggling a little. "prescription?" "right out the bottle," "liar," "how'd you know?" "that cartoony grin on your face," "damn, i should be more careful when i lie," i smile a little more. he hands the blunt back to me. "sorry i had it for so long,' gus slurs, smiling. "you don't have to apologize, gus. its your drugs," i answer. he starts laughing pretty hard. "what's so funny?" "nobody's called me 'gus' in forever," i automatically feel self conscious, as if i've done something wrong. "what does everyone else call you?" "pretty much everyone calls me 'Peep'." "oh my god, that is so cute." "is it really?" "yes," "i think you might be cuter." i blush. he barely even likes you, it's the drugs talking. 

gus pov

i know that bianca must think that was the drugs talking, but it wasnt. she has been on my mind since the day we met. ive been wanting to say it, the drugs just helped me get it out. why cant she understand that? as we talk about everything and nothing, i keep thinking about her. why doesnt she even talk about her family? why is she always so worried about what im doing? why does it freak her out when i let my legs hang off the roof, but she does the same thing? i start to think that maybe she is sad. did i contribute to that? i wish i could help her realize that she is so much more than gorgeous. i lay back and look at the stars in the sky. i catch a glimpse of bianca's silky hair in the moonlight. "you are really pretty," i say out of nowhere. she blushes deeply. "no im not," "i think you are," "you're also on drugs at the moment," "the drugs help me get it out, ive been thinking about it for two weeks," i say. she smiles and blushes. i stare into the sky for 5 minutes. then, before i could change my mind, i sit up and move so im facing bianca. "dont freak out" "peep, what are you-" i interrupt her with a kiss. the whole world melts away for ten seconds. the only thing that mattered was that i was on a roof with a girl and we were kissing. the drugs didnt matter, how tired we were didnt matter, the short amount of time we knew each other didnt matter. the only thing that mattered, was her.

bianca pov

"peep, what are you-" i start, but i  am interrupted by his soft lips colliding with mine. wait, what the hell? i kiss back. our mouths move in sync for about ten seconds. his mouth is warm and moist. it feels nice. my body goes numb, except for my face. we pulled away and i am still in shock. i sit there in the same position i was in before anything happened.holy shit. "im sorry," i hear from peep, who had layed back down on the roof tiles. 

"for what?"

"for kissing you,"

"you shouldnt apologize,"

"dont be pissed at me, please,"

"no im serious. i dont want you to say that youre sorry,"

"why not?"

"there's nothing to apologize for,"

"you liked it? it was okay? you arent mad?"

"yes,"

"really?"

"really."

a smile spreads across my face just wait until brooke hears about THIS. he sits up again and our fingers interlace. we sit like this for a few minutes. the silence isnt heavy or awkward, though. its light and calm. "oh shit, im really sorry, peep. i have to leave. i had a really good time with you tonight," "its ok, ill see you later. i had a really good time too," he says. i plant a gentle kiss on his warm lips right before i leave why would you do that? you arent dating or anything, so how is that okay? you violated him and crossed a line. way to humiliate yourself. i walk my way home, replaying the scene in my head. 

LMAO awww its so cute. just so yall know this whole story doesnt take place on the roof, but that is how they met and that is where significant moments are probably gonna be happening.  if you hated it, let me know what you hated specifically bc maybe one day ill be good at writing!!!!111!!!11!!!!1!!1!!!!