Right &Wrong : Chris Brown &Karrueche Tran Love Story []

Fuck it .

Michael .

I don't give two fucks about my life . I'm a fucking creation from the devil . Everything I breath , say , or look at is wrong or taken away . I miss India so fucking much it hurts . The reason I breath ( a/n Inside joke for me and Kirah , Nina ) I can't help but wonder how has the baby been . I hope I have a girl cause if I have a boy its gonna be  hard teaching him to be the complete opposite of my stupid , ugly.  stank ass .I hope my child looks nothing like me.   I hate that I can't go to doctors appointments , Why ? cause this drug addiction is kicking my ass . Cause I look like a piece of shit . Cause I can't bare to look a India and not touch or feel her . Hell I've only been to 2 doctors appointments India is like 5 months now ,I think shit I don't know . I'm a dead beat father before my child is even here .

I smiled a sinister smile , before gulping down some Liquor . I want my little girl name to be , Isis Jade Stevenson .  I'm Gonna Call her Izzy For Short . My sister name was that .. I smiled remembering that . I miss her.  Nobody knows I have a sister but CHRISTOPHER MAURICE BROWN , AND MICAHEL NYGUEN STEVENSON . and my mama.  I haven't seen India in a month .Its killing my life not my vibe .I'll be suprised I even had a soul .

  Isis Died When I was 13 to leukemia . She was only 16 years old. I saw the life being sucked out of my sister day by day. It hurt my mama to the core when she lost her job  couldnt pay for treatment .My dad was so stressed out he couldnt even look at his reflection . Just like Me . He turned to liquor . and Crack . He ended up not being found .  I dont even know where he is or if he is alive . He is my enemy . What type of child says there father is there enemy . My ma had it bad . Shit me ? I anit make it no better. I gave her HELL . That's Another reason I dont hesitate to get her things , or anything she wants.  Family over all . I haven't talked to anybody inna minute .I know I shouldn't expect chris ass he going threw hell Right now. Exactly , NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ME.   I started drinking again .

LoveIndia:Your a inconsiderate selfish son of a bitch ! I can't believe you didn't come to OUR DAUGHTER'S APPOINTMENT.

I glanced at the text message   . This is why I feel like shit . No one cares ! I'm selfish now .

LoveIndia:Wanna sign your rights over ?

I damn near cried when I seen that . Yeah I know I'm being a dumb ass by not helping her during this pregnancy .   

-No ..... I don't ever want that . Can I name her Isis. 

LoveIndia: Whatever , your not acting like you want to be in her life . Is that your bitch name ?

- No my sister . You know what forget I ever existed .Why am I still living ? 

by now my screen was filled with tears . I took a swig of liquor . I threw the glass bottle . Watching it shatter like my life ,and picked up another bottle .

IndiaLove: what sister ? I'm coming over .Dont talk like that .Ok mikeyy .

Great now I have to look at something I can't have .

-you sure . imma piece if dipshit .

India

Love is like sugar It's sweet but eventually dissolves . Maybe that's what has happened between me and michael . I know he's not my first love - dammnit I sure wish he was . My first love broke my heart to A thousand pieces and Mikey was my glue .

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At Michael house .

" Michael open this damn door" I Sais yelling   extremely loud . For some odd reason , I felt he was dead .

I had been hitting for about an hour now . I was breathing heavily , my belly heaving up an down . When suddenly the door opened and this disgusting odor of Vodka , must , ass , balls , shit and smoke went into my nostrils and I swear my little girl jumped like 5 flips in my stomach .

"What ?" he said his voice raspy and stinking .

" I came to make sure you didn't end your life by the way you were talking in the text ,but if you want me to-" I said turning before he grabbed me ,

"No , don't go ."  he said looking astonished .

" Gonnna let me in ? " I said smirking

"Oh- yeah -sorry "he said  not taking his eyes off me .

" You look beautiful " he said smiling a menacing sound .

I grabbed my stomach , and blew a small breath . Whew .  Got damn She was Clowning .

" You Ok ? " He said getting closer . His breath really was of the chain , smelling like dirty ,  dirty . 

"Yes , It's not the first time   I've learned to deal with it by MYSELF . " I said with a lot of attitude .

He clenched his jaw . He reached up , and tried to touch my belly . I look around his living room . It was 4 bottle of distilled vodka . Blunts , and a syringe .

I smacked his hand , away .

" Alright India . " he said defeated .

I was angry ass hell . My Face was tomato red , my eyes were currently rolling tears.  This damn preganacy. 

" What the fuck !!!!! Michael. I swear to god you better say this is a got damn friend. " I said pointing to the bottles and syringe .

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Karruche

Things are ok . I guess between me and Kayle . I mean Its boring . All we do is Fuck , Shop , Work . Like damn wtf . We went on 5 Romantic dates . Dont get me Wrong I reaally LIKE the guy but damn . I LOVE Chris . I dunno What to do . But yet again I find myself   at square one , once again and appatently weak For Chris Love .

Chris.

"Im Preganant chris . " Miranda said giving me a ultra sound and test .

Fuck. 

.

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Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

missed me ?