My worse enemy (Anorexia)

Hungover and Bloody

I went home after cheer practice. I'm home. I said. My mom walked out to see me. Please don't leave anymore. She said. Okay. I said. We want you to be happy. Okay. I said. I thought you were going to the dinner. I have too much homework. I said. I didn't do homework anymore but it sounded good. Is it okay if Erin comes over? I asked. Yes but your dad and I are going out for the night. Will you girls be okay? Yes. I said. Okay bye Lexi I'll see you tomorrow. I love you. She said. I stood there. She's leaving? I thought. Maybe it was better. Are you going to say it back? She asked. Sorry. I love you too. I said. She left. I went to the bathroom and took a nap. I heard the doorbell. I got up to answer it. Hi! Erin said. She hugged me. Hey! I said. Come in. My parents aren't here. I said. So we can do whatever we want. Oh. She said and smiled. How was the dinner? I asked. Good. She said. VD said she wasn't coming tomorrow because she was going to go really hard tonight. VD is Leah's nickname. That's really stupid. I said. She needs to not judge me anymore because she's a retarded drug addict. And she's always high. Oh. Erin said. Why do you hang out with her? She asked. She was my friend. I said. Here I'll take your stuff upstairs. I have to pee really quick. I said. After that we went downstairs. I turned on some music. We talked for a few hours. Do you think Austin's cute? I asked her. I think Austin's gay Lex. He's not. I said. How do you know? She asked. He told me. He also kissed me and stuff happened. Her eyes got big. No not like that. I said. What kind of stuff? She asked. It's weird to talk about. I said. What? She said. We laughed. Just say it. No it's bad. You said it was weird now it's bad? She asked. It's both to me anyway. Can you explain it without saying it? She asked. Well stuff was getting bigger in his pants. Lexi! She laughed. I just happened to look down and I saw it. What's his package like? Is it big? She asked. I wasn't thinking about that. I said. She looked at me. I don't want to be a virgin forever. I said. You won't. It will come out of his pants into your pants. She said. Oh my god. I'm not ready. I said. I've never done it either. She said. We laughed and talked more. Lexi? She asked. Yes? Are you losing weight? She asked. Yeah I'm on a diet. I said. Oh. Isn't that dangerous? Diets are healthy. I said. Oh. She said. I'm pretty fat. No Lex you aren't. She said. I looked at the liquor cabinet. Hey. I said. Have you ever been passed out drunk before? I asked her. No! Have you? One time. I said. I opened the cabinet. It's your lucky day. I said. I took out some bottles and two glasses. I poured some for me and her. I handed to her. Gross. She said. It's gross. She said. Once you start drinking more you don't even notice. I said. No Lex this is gross I'm going to throw up if I drink more. I don't want to pass out either. What if your parents come back home for something? They won't. If we get really drunk we even know and they wouldn't check on us. Here. I said. I got out some orange juice. I poured it in her glass. Try it now. I said. It's better. She said. See. I said. Let's go upstairs. I said. I took the bottles. I just kept drinking. I remember Erin saying, she thought I had enough. I don't remember after that. I woke up the next morning. Erin was up. We need to go school. Yes we do. You don't have to yell. I said. I felt so sick. I could tell I peed my pants several times too. Shit! Then I threw up all over my floor. Lexi! Erin yelled. I'm good. I said. Then I threw up more. Shit! I said. You aren't good! She said. I threw up more. I got dressed really fast. I decided I should just drink more. I put a paper bag around the bottle. Lina's here. I said. She's gonna drive us. I said. We got in the car. We were driving. We got to the school. I was a little bit with it. Lexi. Lina said. Yes. I said. You smell like a bar and like you didn't take a shower. I drank some more. You...you...you...relax. I said and laughed. Are you fucking kidding me Lexi?! She said. You're drunk and you brought liquor to school. You...you...you. I laughed. Have...Have some. It's goooooooood I said. I don't remember anything after that. I woke up in my bed. I saw Lina. Where? Where am I? Threw up. She held up a bag. I threw up and peed myself for a while. I laid down. Eat some bread and here's some water. I'm not eating any fucking bread. I said. I took the water. I drank it. Lexi? She said. Yes? I said. Her eyes filled with tears. I'm getting really worried about you. She said.