A/N: This chapter may be a bit depressing. Chelsea is taking a new turn on life.
Weeks went by.
I was all alone in a dark room which I call my bedroom.
I've been sitting here in bed, not being able to do a single thing.
If I needed to do something, I had to ask for help. If I wanted to go somewhere, someone else would go instead. It's depressing.
It's depressing not to see the sunshine. All I've been able to do is sit here and imagine things.
I've gone mad.
I have to fake it all, I'm tired of people worrying so much about me. I was shot, no big deal, I'm alive. It hurts though, to know that nobody can see past that. It hurts to know that they can't heal me. Only because they can't see how I truly feel.
Even Timothy can't see through it all. It's an act.
I love Timothy dearly, but he deserves someone better. I'm so bitter inside, but what I say seems to be sweet to him.
It weakens me.
I'm done having to be helped, I've been working on songs all this time just for Queen...As if it were my job or something! They pile on the work for me, music, homework, questions. I'm done.
It may be a stupid reason to be depressed over.
But deeply, you wouldn't even know yourself.
Those who felt this, would understand.
I can't ever go back to how I was before after Derrick shooting me.
Ever.
There was a knock on my door.
"Come in.." I mumbled as if they could hear me.
Sami peeked her head to see if I was awake, then she slowly walked in my room, shutting the door.
"Hey, Sami" I said, smiling weakly.
"Hey Chels.." She looked down.
I sighed, "What's going on?" I asked her.
She shook her head, covering her face with her hands.
"Come on, Sami. Spit it out." I said in a stern tone.
Her hands released her face as tears fell down like a waterfall from her eyes.
"I-I'm So S-s-s-orry, Chelsea..." She sobbed.
I squinted my eyes at her, "Sorry for what..?"
"I did this to you" She whispered.
I sighed, This again? She's been doing this every other week.
"No, you didn't Sami. I did this to myself"
Sami shook her head, "N-No... Look at you... A hole on you, you look so ill, Chelsea. Y-You're so thin, do they even feed you..?" She looked at me.
"Sami, if I didn't eat, I'd be dead by now." I said.
Sami cried even more, "B-but if you moved a different way when getting shot, y-you also could've been dead as well.... Because of me!" She waled.
I sighed, "Sami, you need to stop." I softly said.
"I'm so sorry! I-I don't know how to repay you.." She sobbed.
"Live your life! Stop fucking hating on yourself because this happened to me!" I stood up, feeling the pain inside, I yelled at her.
Sami's eyes widened, "Chelsea, you need to sit down. I'm sorry, y-you need to rest. You'll h-hurt yourself.." Sami said softly.
"Well, Sami! I'm done with it! You need to stop blaming yourself!" I got closer to her.
"Chelsea? Sami?! What's going on?" I heard my mum yell from downstairs.
The blood inside of my boiled, I felt my bandage began to leak as I yelled.
"I did this! NOT YOU! I chose to be shot, NOT YOU! If I died, I CHOSE TO DIE! NOT YOU! GOD DAMN IT, SAMI! FUCKING GET THAT THROUGH YOUR BRAIN! YOU WERE GIVEN LIFE A SECOND TIME BECAUSE OF ME! NOW BE THANKFUL OR JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
I started to feel pain as I grabbed my side, tears fell down my face.
"Oh, God! Chelsea, I'm so so-"
I cut Sami off, "No, just don't even apologize anymore... I'm done with everyone feeling sorry for me. Just get it through your mind"
"I did this" I whispered.
Sami gulped as she nodded, my bedroom door opened and I heard my mum gasp.
"Chelsea! What are you doing up?! Sit back down now! You shouldn't be yelling and you shouldn't be walking around either without help!" Mum scolded me.
I sighed, I'm done arguing.
I nodded as I slowly walked back towards my bed.
"Sami, Hun, I think it's best if you leave now.." Mum sweetly told Sami.
I took one last look at Sami as she walked out the door.
Her eyes were wide opened, she looked scared.
Her eyes were also red and puffy because she had been crying.
Because of me.
I want to apologize, but I won't. I meant everything I said.
Mum guided Sami out the door.
Sami was shaking so much.
I sighed, looking towards the ground.
I did this...
I did this.
