November 23, 1991
I thought it wouldn't be possible, but Freddie had gotten even more worse within a few days.
It's crazy and it's so sad. Timothy said I have to be happy to get my surprise, but how can I? My own father is dying, how can you be happy? How can you even fake happiness to a situation like this?
I sat on a chair next to Freddie, as he lied in bed.
"Thank you for giving me a lot of company, Chelsea." He smiled weakly.
I nodded, "Of course, you're a fun person to be around" I smiled.
He chuckled, "I'm not that fun anymore.."
"We'll at least you can still talk" I pointed out.
He smiled, "Yeah"
He started coughing.
"Freddie, do you need me to get you something?" I asked in concern.
He shook his head slightly, "No, No. I'll be fine, darling, thanks though."
"Alright.."
"You and your mother have been taking such good care of me, thank you" He said.
I nodded, "Well, of course. You must get lonely all alone in a bed all day, yes?"
Freddie smirked, "Yes, darling, I do."
"Freddie?"
"Yes, dear?" He said.
"I love you a lot, Freddie." I slowly said, smiling weakly.
His face brightened a little, "I love you a lot too, Chelsea"
I got up from the chair, walking closer to him and hugged him gently.
He held onto me tightly.
As we let go, I sat back down on the chair.
"Freddie, when are you going to tell the press? I think you should tell them now, before it's too late..." I said.
Freddie sighed, "I suppose you're right, darling. I don't have much time left.."
I bit my lower lip, If only you had all the time in the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We sent Freddie's message, what he wanted to say, we wrote it down.
Following the enormous conjecture in the press over the last two weeks, I wish to confirm that I have been tested HIV positive and have AIDS. I felt it correct to keep this information private to date to protect the privacy of those around me. However, the time has come now for my friends and fans around the world to know the truth and I hope that everyone will join with me, my doctors, and all those worldwide in the fight against this terrible disease. My privacy has always been very special to me and I am famous for my lack of interviews. Please understand this policy will continue.
"Thank you, Chelsea" Freddie said.
"Of course, Freddie. Anything." I smiled back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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November 24, 1991
I woke up, feeling terrible. It's like some sorrow dwelled over me. Something isn't right.
The clouds were cloudy and the ground was wet, I noticed my surroundings as I looked out the window.
Roger supposed to be coming over today to visit Freddie.
Freddie's happy about that.
I brushed my teeth and got ready for the day.
I looked at the time, Noon. Roger should be hear any minute.
The doctor is upstairs with Freddie as of this moment, some checks to see how he is doing.
"Miss. Austin, may I use the restroom?" The doctor asked.
"Of course, down the hall over there and take a right." I smiled.
"Alright, thank you."
I nodded as she walked down the hallway.
That doctor has been working hard, trying everything, she's told me her progress but nothing is official yet.
Mum walked past me, "I'm going to go and check on Freddie quickly" She said and rushed off.
I nodded, looking out the window.
Suddenly I heard a scream coming from Freddie's room.
The doctor and I quickly rushed up the stairs to his room.
"Mum?! What's going on?" I said, frightened by her screaming.
"He-He's... He's not breathing! I-I think he's.....dead" Mum cried, holding Freddie's lifeless body.
My heart started racing as the doctor passed me, checking on Freddie.
I ran out the room, screaming.
"NO!!!!!!" I hit the wall.
"GOD DAMN IT!" I cried, falling to the floor.
Mum rushed over to me, holding onto me, crying.
"M-Mum, n-no.." I sobbed.
She cried, she couldn't say a thing.
"He was smiling when he died, Ch-Chelsea... He, he died peacefully.." She softly said.
I couldn't say anything at this point, I started crying.
The doctor took Freddie's lifeless body, zipping him up in a bag.
"Freddie said he'd like to be cremated.." Mum said to her.
The doctor nodded, "Of course." She said as she took Freddie's body away.
I screamed out, "FREDDIE!!!" I cried, trying to reach over for the bag.
Mum stroked my back, trying to get me to calm down.
Mum and I got up and walked to the front yard, sitting down.
Suddenly we saw Roger's car come up.
I started crying again.
Roger walked towards us, flowers in his hands.
He saw me, and his eyes widened.
"There's no point in going in" Mum said softly.
Roger sat beside us, not saying a word.
"He's dead." She cried.
Roger gulped, gently placing the flowers on the ground.
He got up, pacing back and forth with a fist pressing against his mouth.
I looked up at him.
His blue eyes were crying, crying like the rain, so fast like a stream.
I covered my face, I suddenly felt another pair of arms wrapped around me.
"I-I'm so sorry, Chelsea.." Roger sobbed.
How could I say something back? "Oh, thanks" No. My father died. He died a day after making his HIV announcement public. He died.
It's calming to know he died peacefully, but to know he died so sudden.. It's heartbreaking.
We now have to live everyday without him. Without his voice, his laugh, his dirty jokes, his parties, his gay life, him being him.
All we can do now is cherish the moments.
But what kills me most? Is knowing that he chose to die, chose it was his time.
And not one tear was given from him.
Not one.
