Freddie invited us all to go to the studio today.
So, mum, Timothy and I tagged along with Queen.
I wore sunglasses, because if I dare cry I want to keep it a secret before anybody else notices.
I held onto Timothy's hand tightly.
"I have a gift for you waiting sometime this week" Timothy whispered.
I smiled, "Oh, really? What is it?"
He smirked, "It's a surprise... A grand surprise, I can't say it"
I smirked, "Alright... This'll be a tough wait then"
He chuckled silently and squeezed my hand.
"Shh, you two. They are about to record!" Mum whispered/yelled at us.
I looked at Timothy, both of our faces went red.
"Aww" Freddie said.
"Even now they blush of love and embarrassment just like when they were teenagers!" He smiled.
I blushed even more, I looked up and saw Freddie grinning widely at me.
I guess that's a goal for me for whatever time he has left.
Just get Freddie to smile.
Goal completed for the day.
"Freddie, are you sure you'll be able to sing this song? I mean these notes are high, Fred" Brian said.
Freddie poured himself a glass of vodka, and chucked it down.
So much for no alcohol.
"You watch, Brian! I'll fucking do it, darling!" He yelled.
Mum chuckled, "Oh, Freddie.." She murmured.
Freddie walked up to the mike.
"1....2....3....4..." He played first.
Taking a deep breath, he sang.
Empty spaces - what are we living for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for...
Another hero, another mindless crime
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime
Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore
The show must go on,
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on.
Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
I understood every word that he was singing, I felt his emotion. No matter what happens, the show must go on, no matter if he dies he still wants to create music... I finally understand..
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends
The show must go on
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On - with the show -
I started crying, the instruments and his vocals were all so powerful.
How could this be? How could such a powerful man like himself be.......Dying? It's unreal, it's unbelievable. I don't want to accept it. This is the reality I want to wake up from, wake up and see that he'll be alright. But sadly, we all know what will happen. And none of us are prepared to loose him.
I'll top the bill, I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the -
On with the show -
The show must go on...
As his last note echoed through the room, mum looked at me.
"Chelsea? Hun, are you alright?" Mum looked concern.
I nodded, "Yeah... Just, it's powerful..."
Mum nodded and looked back at Freddie.
I whispered to Timothy, I was still crying.
"How could somebody so powerful just die so soon?" I looked up at him.
Timothy sighed, "I don't know, love. But he decided this, Chels. He stopped taking his medication because he decided it's his time.."
I held onto him, trying not to make a whimper.
Freddie walked out smiling, "How was that?"
I smiled weakly, "That was absolutely brilliant, Fred. So powerful"
He smiled, hugging me tight. "Thank you, darling."
I cherished that hug, because that just might be the last hug I receive from him.
I know, it's negative for me to think like this but I'm preparing for the worse. No matter how much I prepare though, I'll never be ready for reality to hit me. For reality to kill me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Freddie was asleep in his room, the doctor just got done checking on him.
"Ms. Austin, Mr. Mercury isn't doing the best.." She started.
"Well, of course he isn't! He stopped taking his medication!" I said.
"I know, I know. But it appears he has developed pneumonia... His time is now precious, Ms. Austin."
I shook my head, "No.." I whispered.
The doctor placed her hand on my shoulder, "I'm so sorry"
I slapped her hand away, "No, you can't say that! You can't say he's just fucking dying now! He was so happy today, so powerful, he can't be dying!" I started crying.
"Ms. Austin, I know this is very hard on yo-"
"Very hard?! No, this is extremely hard on me! He's like a father to me, he is one of my best friends! He has been there for me my entire fucking life! From birth, he isn't supposed to go this young! He's supposed to get married and maybe have kids and then die at fucking 80 or something!" I shouted.
"Ms. Austin-"
"NO! YOU AREN'T JUST GOING TO LET HIM DIE! I WANT YOU TO GO OUT THERE AND FIND SOME FUCKING CURE! NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS, GIVE IT TO HIM! FREDDIE MERCURY IS NOT GOING TO DIE, GOD DAMN IT! NOT NOW! AND NOT EVER!" Tears kept falling, the doctor didn't say anything nor did she have emotion.
"I'll try my best, Miss." She said and rush off.
"You better fucking try" I mumbled.
You better.
