The Mute Mate

XXVI

The sleep I got in my bed was not as good as the sleep I had gotten in Alex's bed. I was tossing and turning in my bed, throwing my sheets everywhere but onto my body. One minute I was cold, the next I was hot, but then it was half and half and Christina wasn't helping either. 

Why didn't he come back? He said he would.

Just relax. He probably didn't mean to do it on purpose. He is still Alpha after all.

But, he didn't come check on us at all. It makes me sad.

You're not going to relax anytime soon, are you?

Probably not.

I sighed and finally threw myself out of bed. Everything was cold around me and the lack of covers surrounding me didn't make it better. I rubbed my face, rubbing some crust out of my eyes and stretching my back and legs. My soon-to-be-becoming favorite robe was across the room on the desk I hadn't really noticed before. I didn't think it was very important to me pertaining so I simply ignored it. But now that my robe was on it, it existed. 

I went to go retrieve it and noticed that there was a note on the desk that had been written recently.  I read the note.

"Dear, Princess. If you don't sleep too well tonight, you can always come back to my room instead of out in the cold. 

Love, Alpha Alex." 

There was a little heart by his joke and I couldn't help but smile at his kind intentions. I did have to admit, there was something about Alex's room that simply attached me to it. 

Maybe because it's the fact that it's Alex's room.

Well, yea, but doesn't that sound creepy?

Creepy to a normal person, but for a mate, it's very common.

Well, I do think it's a very tempting to take up his offer, but I can't.

Why not?

Because it's 2 am and I doubt he's even awake. I don't want to piss him off if he needs his beauty sleep or what. I'm going to let him get his sleep.

I think...that's a stupid idea.

Why is the idea stupid?

'Cause. That's not what your instincts want. Why don't you ever listen to yourself?

I do listen to myself and you. 

Bullshit. You're skeptical of taking every little step and you want to be nothing but stubborn about it. Just take a chance with him.

I am taking a chance, it's not going to happen overnight.

What happened to the whole 'Jumping right in' mentality you had last night? You were excited about exploring each other. Finding new things. Learning about each other. New love is exciting and fun! 

It is exciting and fun. But I don't want to push him too far too early.

Don't let your anxiety get to you. Go and see him. We both know you sleep better with him. You always feel better with him around. You acted like we both didn't notice you getting really sad when he hadn't come back yet. You can't run from this new feeling.

I thought about what Christina said. She was right like always, but still. Something about me wanted to be argumentative. But I got over it and accepted what she had said. My anxiety has held me back before and I'm not going to let that happen anymore. I just can't. 

I went to go find some more slippers in the closet and plopped them on, shuffling my way to the door and holding my hand on the knob, almost scared to turn it.