C o l d

~12~

Draft: 1/03/18 07:35
Published: 10/03/18 08:47

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'Why can't I tell them? Why is it too hard?!'
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[Y/n] found it better living in the dorms of Jungkook's dorms.

The flat was filled with warmth and a sense of home. It didn't matter where you went in the house you always was felt the warmth of family. Joyous laughter always ringed through the dorm because of some of the boys joking around each other.

[Y/n] loved it. He never had a proper family. His woman that he considered his mum didn't hug or kiss him or his brother. She would say how much she loved him and his brother but would never wrap her hands around them or kiss their foreheads.

One day, Minsu has asked "Why does mummy not hug or kiss us?" and [Y/n] had no idea how to answer it. He had no clue himself. So he always concluded that Soyi didn't actually love them as she said.

But here, in the presence of the seven men that welcomed him into their home, it felt like they were blood related brothers. It felt so surreal and warm and loving and brilliant that [Y/n] was overwhelmed with the love he received from them.

Jin slaved away in the kitchen making everyone a big feast.
Suga invited him to play a game, trying to at least get to know him.
Hoseok, played with him on Overwatch, treating [Y/n] as if he'd known him since forever.
Namjoon held respect for him despite the age difference and shared deep thoughts with [Y/n] when Jungkook informed him that [Y/n] was into that kind of stuff despite his shy and closed off personality.
Jimin hugged him without fear of [Y/n], telling him little small tales of Jungkook which in turn made Jungkook shout at him.
Taehyung just kept on being Taehyung. He kept [Y/n] on his toes with his random screams, yells and sneezes.

((His sneezes are my sneezes lol))

[Y/n] didn't know why they accepted him so easily. Was it only because of Jungkook? Were they faking it? We're they just using him? [Y/n] ruled out all possibilities because it all felt so genuine.

He felt as if he was pondering whether a little child drew a painting that looked like Vincent Van Gogh painted it. If he rejected it, he'd feel guilty since the child actually painted it for him. If he accepted it, he would never know if the child painted it for him.

So, [Y/n] told himself to let it be but still have his guard up.

Taehyung hugged [Y/n] tightly, laughing as he let go and walked up the stairs to the bedrooms. [Y/n] was about to catch up to him when he heard a soft but low voice call for him.

"[Y/n]?"

The voice was raspy and sounded as if the owner didn't talk for a while. [Y/n], being confused, looked behind him to see Yoongi, his eyes staring at him like a few hours earlier. Eyes small and beady, hands stuffed into pockets and lips smacked together to create a thin line.

"Can we talk to you for a second?"

Namjoon appeared behind him, his tall figure towering over Yoongi's. His eyes glowed dangerously in the darkness since the lights were off in the hallway. His facial expression was serious with a bit of softness wedged in there somewhere.

[Y/n] blinked, not understanding why they were so serious for, until his hands started getting clammy and his heart rate sped up.

He was nervous.

[Y/n] nodded reluctantly, taking short steps towards the two boys. Namjoon and Yoongi waited for [Y/n] until he was in front of them before leading him to the kitchen.

[Y/n] found himself sitting at the kitchen table, Yoongi and Namjoon sitting in front of him. [Y/n] felt like they were scolding parents, Yoongi being the mother and Namjoon being the overprotective dad. It made him feel a tad bit better until he saw how cold and angry they looked.

[Y/n] held his hands on his lap, sweat building up on his hands. He gulped, looking down at his lap, not having enough courage to look them in the eyes.

"[Y/n], please look up,"

Yoongi's voice was so soft and calm with a hint of guilt in it. [Y/n] knew it wasn't in his nature to feel guilty about something so he was genuinely surprised when he heard the older man's voice. When he raised his head abruptly, he saw that Yoongi's eyes had softened like a puppy's and Namjoon looked more neutral now.

"Are you alright?" Namjoon asked, his deep voice yielding genuine concern for [Y/n]'s well being. 'Not this question,' [Y/n] mentally sighed, his eyes unconsciously hardening.

He hated the question. Because every time he was asked that, he has to lie to the people he held dear. He believed that no one truly cared for his feelings. Including Jiae and his family. How could he? How could he trust a person when the very people that gave birth to him called him a monster-

[Y/n] felt his mouth morph into an emotionless smile, his eyes dropping a considerable bit. But he forced himself to look normal for Yoongi's and Namjoon's sake. "I'm...I'm fine. Just tired," [Y/n] painfully informed, smiling weakly at the two men in front of him.

Yoongi and Namjoon weren't convinced.

They saw themselves in him. How could they ignore something like that?

"Tell us the truth," Yoongi said, leaning forward a bit "Are you really okay?"

[Y/n] wasn't expecting them to keep at it. All the people who spoke of that question just left it when he said he was alright. No one tried to pry for unknown reasons.

So it got [Y/n] thinking...

Maybe he should share his thoughts.

Maybe he should share what he's been thinking. Maybe they'd be able to help him. Maybe, through Yoongi's and Namjoon's help, [Y/n] could recover and be the person he was supposed to be maybe-

"I'm fine!"

What?

"I had a rough week at school,"

What are you doing?!

"I have upcoming exams,"

Don't you want to get better?!

"I'm just tired,"

Please just tell them!!

"I'll be better after a good night's sleep,"

Never mind, you're a lost cause.

[Y/n] found himself hiding away behind a mask he put up. Behind it he hid, cried and lied. [Y/n] may have been laughing out of awkwardness in the outside but in the inside he was laughing at how weak and scared he truly was.

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Ahhh
Writer's block is a dick
I don't really like this chapter...
It doesn't look that good...
I hope it is.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed.
Happy birthday Suga!!
And the hixtape was lit
I can now die happy lol