"You the only thing I give a fuck about anymo', don't take my motivation away from me."
*
Imagine watching your childhood best friend become a sensation almost over night...You never saw the signs, you would've never figured it out if it hadn't been...
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"You like this?" Mama put a dress against her body, smoothing it out. It was a black body con dress that had a split down the side.
"Ooou, yeah! That's pretty!" I smiled. We decided to go out to eat and watch a movie last night, so we could go shopping today.
"I think so too. Ya know, when we were younger, your dad loved lil dresses like this. Hopefully he still does." She chuckled to herself, blushing. My heart dropped.
"Uh, ma..."
"Hm?" She looked over at me and smiled. She looked so happy and content. I couldn't do it.
"I got the perfect necklace set for that." I gave her warm smile back.
"So, you and yo' boyfriend been it on a date?" She nudged me and I made a face as I thought.
"No. Not really." I admitted, keeping the same pace behind her.
"Oh? Ole boy must not know who he got on his hands." She scoffed playfully. "Even the lil hood niggas gotta treat they ladies." I smirked and nodded.
"You gotta point."
"I got a bunch of points." She said, dropping another dress in the buggy. "You'll know—trust me." I picked out some stuff along side her. When we go to the register, I pulled out my wallet.
"I got it." She said, taking the clothes from my hands.
"Mama, what you do again? Where you work?"
"I'mma cashier at the Polo in the mall. At least, that's until I get a better job." She shrugged.
"That's great, mama!" I smiled. I was really too young to remember my mama before the drugs got to her. When I came to pay attention to details, she was stung out. That's all I remember. When she left, my daddy basically labeled her as the enemy. I had this image burned in my head until I saw her one day—before she got into rehab.
I remember it so clear. I was walking down the strip with D and Zoe. Daddy had finally let me go out with my friends since I was trustworthy enough. I was 13 when I decided to be a psychologist. It was because of her.
She had caught my eye as she leaned against the store window. She looks so bummed out, so dirty. At first I didn't think it was her. I didn't think she was alive. When I got closer I realized it was my mother. I didn't even recognize her.
I gave her two dollars in her cup that was just sitting out, being sure to not show my friends my surprised expression. I noticed that she had something taped to her cup. When I got a close look, I saw it was a picture of me. I recognized the picture from the wall in my house. I was four when I took it.
I didn't really show my face to her, I turned a bit when I dropped the money. I remember going home to my dad, I asked him why she had left. He just told me not to go looking for her. He didn't want me around her.
